Biopsies.

Yesterday was biopsy day and this morning we had a phone call from Guy's to let us know how many were suitable for biopsy and freezing.  To be honest, I'd forgotten we were even expecting a call.  My head has been all over the place lately and I'm really struggling mentally.  I've suffered with depression before and I'm feeling very overwhelmed lately.  I think it's mostly from the PGD process although I don't feel outwardly worried when I think about it.

The phone call came about 12:30 and the embryologist started by confirming ALS date of birth and then saying he had good news for us.  I thought, "Great, we must have about 7 or 8 embryos at least".  What followed was not what I would consider GOOD news, nor bad news.  We have 5.  They said there may be a few more suitable to biopsy tomorrow and they will let us know if there are.  As it stands we have 5 frozen blastocysts (embryos grown for a number of days) and we will know the biopsy results in a couple of weeks.

Theoretically we will lose 50% through the genetic test as 50% will have ALS' mum's DNA so that takes us down to 2.5 (as 2.5 isn't a valid amount of embryos and I'm a pessimist we'll round down to 2).

I know I should feel incredibly lucky.  We could have had none grow to a suitable size.  We could have had none suitable for freezing.  We could have had none survive the biopsy.  Yet I'm still disappointed.  I'm trying to stay hopeful for tomorrow that we may get a couple more.

Once we get to the stage of transferring a frozen embryo I'd really like to have 3 or 4.  That gives us the opportunity for it to not work first time, but also to have a sibling.  The NHS funding covers 3 cycles but only until you have a healthy child.  A further cycle would be approximately £10,000.  A further frozen embryo transfer would only be around £1,000.  Therefore, in an ideal world we would have some "spare" frozen embryos even after I get pregnant this time.  If we have to use the last embryo to get a viable pregnancy I can pretty much guarantee our child will be an only child.  If we have 1 or 2 left over at least we can try again - our child could still end up an only child but we'd be able to try.

This whole process is full of so many ifs and buts.  It's an absolute minefield and you really can't PLAN your way through it.  We probably aren't financially stable enough to have a child right now, but if we don't try now and it doesn't work the first few times we could be another 5 years down the line before I become pregnant.  Likewise, it could work first time and I could be pregnant before Christmas.  There's just no knowing.

We still haven't decided whether to try for an embryo transfer during my November cycle or whether to leave it until the new year but you'll be the first to know when we decide!