4dp5dt

It's been a LONG 4 days.  Work has been slow so it's not been easy to distract myself.  Evenings haven't been too bad but I'm definitely missing the gym - I've been doing some small stuff at home to keep myself active.  Unfortunately, my EDS flares up when I don't exercise regularly so I'm extra fatigued from not doing so much.  It's hard getting a balance between not overdoing it/protecting the embryo and doing enough that my body doesn't start complaining.

I've had horrible insomnia for the last few days for no apparent reason - partly because I'm thinking but, even when I manage to clear my head, I don't seem to be getting to sleep very quickly.  This morning I woke up at 6:15am to do my pessary and then had an hour to sleep before I had to get up for work... except I spent that hour trying not to throw up.  I'm trying not to read too much into it though, it's probably just the progesterone.  However, last time I had nausea but nothing so severe so maybe it's a good sign.

I also had a really sore boob earlier, then I realised there was a thread caught around my nipple piercing.  Talk about trying to find symptoms!

Every time I show any sort of symptom (nausea, tiredness etc.) one of the girls at work suggests that pregnancy causes those symptoms.  There's a few of them who know what's going on and between them they've all suggested it at least once.  The conversation usually goes something like this:

"Oo that's a symptom of pregnancy."

"Yes, it is.  It's caused by the increase in progesterone.  Do you know what also causes an increase in progesterone, and therefore the same symptoms?  These progesterone pessaries that I've been shoving in my vagina twice a day for the last week."

Okay... so I'm a bit more polite about it than that, but that's how the conversation goes in my head!

Nearly halfway though - tomorrow should be interesting, but I'll do a post when I see how it pans out.

1dp5dt!

I'm currently lay with my legs propped up and a pillow under my bum waiting for my progesterone pessary to be absorbed.  What better time to write a blog post?

As you know, yesterday was our second transfer.  We headed down to London at 9am and made it to Guy's at around 11:30.  The transfer wasn't booked until 12:10 so we settled down in the waiting room and I dove into my book (I only started reading it yesterday on the train, but I'm hooked).  I was just putting the book down, at the end of a chapter, when the doctor called us through - pretty much on time!  I was a bit dubious as it was the same doctor doing the procedure as last time.  Whilst she was nice, she didn't explain anything to me and it felt very impersonal.

We put on our (very attractive) gowns and hairnets and sat down with the embryologist.  She explained that our second embryo had thawed nicely and was showing signs of re-expanding, which leaves us with one in the freezer for future use.  With that, we signed the consent forms and I assumed the position.

The sonographer squirted the jelly onto my stomach (it was cold this time, which confused me a little) and got in position.  I'd made sure to get my bladder extra full, as I was told it was only half full last time.  She said it was perfect but her pressing on it caused me a lot of pain, added to when the doctor inserted the speculum.  The whole procedure was a lot more uncomfortable, even painful, than last time but it was over quite quickly and my fears about the impersonal doctor were allayed.  She took the time to show me what she was doing on the screen and explained what I could see.  I guess she was just having a bad day last time - they were running on time, instead of an hour late, yesterday which probably helped.

10 minutes later we were on our way back to the train station, grabbed a quick McDonald's and headed home.  I'm trying not to think about it too much but it's certainly hard.  My colleagues have completely wrapped me in cotton wool all day at work - it's nice but I'm already bored.  I used last night to do a load of meal prep and housework so tonight I'm having a rest.

I'll keep you updated if anything happens but I'm guessing the next point of interest will be my beta on 22nd!

FET #2

FET #2 is a go tomorrow!

When I went for my scan (after 2 weeks of oestrogen) my lining was thick enough first time - last time I had to wait a few more days.  I'm putting this down to a full glass of pomegranate juice every day since I started the oestrogen.

Mr T chased up my smear results early last week and, fortunately, everything is fine in that respect so there's nothing stopping us now.

We have the trains booked to get to London and we've taken some pointers from last time:

1.  We've spent a little bit more money so we can travel at peak times, which will enable us to not have to walk around London killing hours until the train.  We walked about 8 miles after transfer last time which probably didn't help because it put quite a bit of stress on my body and my joints hurt a lot the day afterwards.

2.  I have a really good support network set up at work so I will be avoiding lifting files around as much as possible.  Last time, although a few people knew, I tried to carry on as normal.  Whilst this might not have had any effect, it's worth trying to be a little bit more careful.

3.  I will be having the whole 2 week wait (9 days in our case) away from the gym.  I'll be doing a lot of walking and gentle stretching but nothing that gets my heart rate up too much and nothing involving heavy lifting.  Once I am pregnant, I WILL be getting back to exercise though!  I've joined a new gym with a pool recently so I've been doing a lot of swimming.

4.  I got quite excited last time and ALS accidentally named the embryo, which he said goodnight to every night.  When it didn't work, I was crushed.  I know it will hurt regardless but I don't want to get my hopes up too much.  I'm running on a principle of "Hope for the best, but expect the worst" and trying to be realistic.

Hopefully, these few small changes might have a bit of an impact on my chances of success!

In other news, I found out this morning that one of my close friends is pregnant.  I'm not saddened by this at all, she's been trying for a while for her second child and was trying for well over 2 years for her first so she's more than deserving of a baby.  I'll be an honorary aunty to her new baby, just like I am to her daughter already and I'm over the moon for her and her husband.

Weirdly, it works out that she'll be 2 weeks ahead of me if this transfer works.  When my sister-in-law found out she was pregnant, it was the day of our first transfer and she's 2 weeks ahead of when I would have been due with that one.  Let's hope that this isn't a sign of failure this time.

All being well tomorrow, Beta day will be 22nd Feb - watch this space!

Bump in the road...

Yesterday, I received a letter in the mail asking me to arrange a smear test as I'm nearly 25.  This morning, I emailed my IVF clinic in Sheffield to check if I was okay to have this done whilst on my FET meds or if I should wait till after the cycle (and after pregnancy if the cycle works).

Half an hour later I received an email saying that they will not do a transfer with an outstanding smear test so I'd need to get it done (and have the results) before transfer. With how my cycle is going transfer could be as early as 9th Feb, which is 2 weeks away.

Needless to say I panicked. I rang my GP Surgery who couldn't get me in until 7th Feb - no way my results would be ready in time. 

Fortunately, working in a gynaecology department has its benefits and I spoke to one of the nicer consultants, who took me straight down to clinic and did it there and then. It's a little odd having it done by someone you work with BUT I've had that many people fiddling around up there during this process, I really didn't care!

Quite a few of our consultants only really speak to their own secretaries and don't acknowledge us "lesser beings" but this consultant, let's call him Mr T, has always taken time to stop and have a chat with everyone who works for him so it was great to know someone so approachable.

My results will be with me in just over a week so I can rest easy - fingers crossed they're all clear!

Bleeders!

Nothing much to tell at the moment. I'm almost 2 weeks into the buserelin injections and I have a scan on Saturday to check my lining.

Just thought I'd do a small post because I'm annoyed at myself. I've "messed up" 3 injections in the last 7 days.

Last Thursday I hit a blood vessel on the right side. It didn't hurt at the time but it bled quite a bit and 2 minutes later it was hurting and already bruised. 6 days later that bruise is still going strong thanks to my poor healing.

Then on the Friday I got the angle wrong and injected too close to the surface of the skin. I normally have a large itchy patch around the injection site, for a few hours. As I'd gone too close to the surface I broke out in large, itchy, painful hives for a few hours instead.

The last few had been fine and then tonight I hit another blood vessel on the right. It was only 10 minutes ago and I can see the bruising coming out already. Apparently my right side is just full of blood vessels.

I know it's unavoidable as I can't see the blood vessels but last time I hit only one in the whole 5 weeks. This time I've hit 2, in close proximity, in 6 days. Just hope the medication isn't leaking out with the blood - I try and get pressure on it ASAP to avoid this but it's hard with sharps in your hand.

Does anyone else have any injection fails you'd like to share?

FET Attempt 2!

Yesterday, we had our appointment with the nurse to review our first FET and get started on the meds for FET number 2.  Fortunately, I was at exactly the right point in my pack of birth control pills to start the injections last night - if our appointment had been 2 days later I would have most likely had to wait another 4 weeks.

By the end of the last cycle, I was doing pretty much all of my own injections.  ALS did them in the beginning but as I got more confident I found it easier to just get on with it and do it myself.  I did the injection at half 8 last night without even thinking about it - I think he was a little offended that I didn't ask for his help, bless him!

We are looking to transfer around the 15th Feb (if the cycle takes exactly as long as last time) but it could be as early as 9th Feb or a little later if my lining is slow.  I'll be getting on to the pomegranate juice as soon as I start the oestrogen this time in the hope that my lining is ready at the first look, rather than the second.  As before, I'm taking my folic acid and Vitamin D.  The medication protocol itself has not been changed from the last cycle, as there didn't appear to be anything wrong.  I guess we were just unlucky - there's always a chance it won't work but here's hoping that this cycle is the one!

Hello AF

Yesterday, AF showed up after my failed transfer. Before I started taking the pill I had horrendously painful periods and I've experienced them on and off this year whilst having fertility tests etc. This period is different, it's way worse. I assumed the artificially thickened lining but either way it isn't fun. I expected heavy bleeding but so far that's not been too bad.

I dragged myself to work this morning but within an hour the cramps had me in agony and every time I moved I felt like I was going to throw up.  I spoke to my team leader who suggested I go home.

When I told one of the girls in the office I was leaving and that I felt horribly sick, she immediately said, "You're not pregnant, are you?".

Well, no. No I'm not. Exactly the opposite in fact. It upset me a little but I honestly felt way too sick to really notice. It sucks that people always jump to that question or ask when you're having kids or any other equally invasive question. I guess it's just another thing I have to get used to unless I want to explain my situation to everyone!