Baby Update - 4 weeks

Age:  4 weeks

Weight: 8 lb 9 oz (weighed at 3 weeks 4 days)

Feeding: We are having a few issues with reflux leading to occasional cluster feeding and OJ being quite fidgety during a feed, sometimes he even throws up whilst on the breast.  However he's still putting weight on well so the Health Visitor isn't concerned.  We've introduced a dummy this week (mostly at night, but occasionally if we're out and about) and a few times he's actually managed to go 4-5 hours between feeds at night.

Sleep: Since we got the co-sleeper crib things have been a lot better.  It's really handy for me to be able to reach out and soothe him without having to get out of bed.  He's also sleeping better with a dummy although he is quite unsettled still on his back and usually around 5 am (after his last night time feed) it gets to the point where he won't settle at all - he doesn't cry, he just ends up coughing, spluttering, gagging and being sick so I tend to bring him into our bed at that point so that I can lie him face down on my chest or tuck him next to me on his side and this seems to help.  

Routine: We're getting on pretty well and even managed to get out the house by 10 am one day.  He tends to have a fussy period for a few hours in an evening which is a bit of a pain as it usually starts just as ALS goes to work - but as long as I've accepted that I'm not getting anything done during those few hours we're coping okay.  I did have a moment last night where he was crying and the only thing that would settle him was walking around with him but I was in too much pain so I had to sit down - this led to me crying as well because I felt bad for not being able to settle him and ended up giving him the dummy.  It was a momentary blip and ALS reassured me when he got home that I'd not failed just because I gave him a dummy.

Likes/dislikes:  He really loves tummy time and can hold himself upright on my breastfeeding cushion.  He likes getting out of the house for walks too.  He dislikes being laid on his back, even in your arms.  He's far too curious and likes to be looking around and seeing what's going on so prefers to be held upright.

Firsts:  We had our first meet up with a group of mums who go for walks - we even went for lunch with them afterwards.  This was my first meal out since having OJ and it was lovely!  As I've mentioned above he has his first dummy and we had our first solid 4 hour stint of sleep.  He's also started using a sleeping bag at night this week and he's much happier than with blankets because it means he can wriggle around.

Milestones: He's just about started smiling today - it seemed to be in response to his grandad, although it may still just be wind.  He can push himself up during tummy time when he's propped over a cushion as well.

Things we did: We went to another Christmas fair, we went for a couple of nice walks, we've been shopping a few times and we've had lots of visits from OJs grandparents (especially on ALS' side of the family).  

Me: I'm struggling with the fact that I'm 4 weeks post delivery and still in excessive pain if I'm standing or dawdling around (such as shopping or pottering around the house) for more than about 10 minutes.  The pain is like really severe bruising around my vagina but my scar has healed really well so I'm not sure where it's really coming from.  If I'm walking at a decent pace I don't seem to have the same issue which is weird.  My body is starting to get back to a normal shape again which I'm very happy with and I'm desperate to get back to some exercise once this pain goes away.  I was going to bring it up at my 6 week postnatal check with the GP but my surgery don't do one - they just check you over at your baby's 8 week check - so I'll have to wait another 4 weeks or make a specific appointment to be seen.

3 weeks 1 day old - morning cuddles.

3 weeks 2 days old - yawning away in his bouncer.

3 weeks 2 days old - fast asleep on his tummy on mummy's lap.

3 weeks 3 days old - snuggled up cosy at the Christmas fair.

3 weeks 3 days old - first time in his sleeping bag.

3 weeks 4 days old - holding himself up on his cushion during tummy time.

3 weeks 5 days old - mummy trying to capture a picture of her favourite expression.

3 weeks 6 days old - snuggled up with mummy after being unsettled for a while.

3 weeks 6 days old - fast asleep in the booth at the pub.

4 weeks old - 2 minutes before he fell asleep sucking on his dummy.

4 weeks postpartum - 57.5 kg.

Baby Update - 3 weeks

Age:  3 weeks

Weight: 8 lb (weighed at 2 weeks 5 days)

Feeding: OJ had his appointment with the GP today about his tongue tie and we've been referred to the hospital.  It seems to only be mild but the doctor couldn't get a good look as every time he put the tongue depressor in his mouth he just sucked on it!  He is feeding in a bit more of a pattern now.  He tends to have a long feed first thing in a morning (around 8-9) and then feed every 1-1.5 hours until early afternoon.  During the afternoon he'll go up to 3 hours between feeds and then feeds again every hour during the evening - but this means that at night he can go up to 3 hours which is great.

Sleep: He tends to be awake between his closer feeds in a morning and evening, sleeps well during the afternoon and then is a bit up and down at night.  If he falls asleep on me after a feed I can put him down but if I put him in his Moses basket awake he seems to be really unsupported by the mattress and ends up gagging, coughing and refluxing quite a lot.  We have ordered a co-sleeper cot which is more supportive, will last longer (he already seems to be a bit wide for his Moses basket and hits the sides a lot) and will mean we can put our bedroom back to normal as it fits on to the bed (I'm currently sleeping halfway down the bed to give me access to the Moses basket and ALS' side of the bed is pushed right up to the wall to keep the Moses basket away from the window). 

Routine: We've managed quite well with ALS on his first week back at full time work (some days this means he's out from 8 am until 8 pm).  We tend to just take each day as it comes.  In a morning I'll get up after his feed around 8-9 am, get him changed and dressed, go downstairs and get my own breakfast and then either feed him again or, if he's sleeping, I'll get myself washed and dressed.  The rest of the day entirely depends on what we're doing and whether we are in or out but I mostly use the time he sleeps in an afternoon to catch up on the washing or cleaning and I've been watching an inordinate amount of daytime TV during his waking hours.

Likes/dislikes:  He's started to really enjoy his baths this week and loves being held sitting up so that he can look around.  He's really not keen on his Moses basket and settles much better in the carry cot from his pram (it's a more supportive mattress and is a bit wider).

Firsts: We went out for our first trip in the car just the 2 of us and did a bit of Christmas shopping.  He's also grown out of his first size clothing (newborn - up to 7.5 lbs) - it fits around his body and arms but the legs are too short and he can't straighten his legs in them.

Milestones: He's holding his head up really well when he's sat upright and he's a lot more alert when he's awake.

Things we did: We went for a couple more walks, we did some Christmas shopping without daddy, we took him to his first weigh-in clinic, we got him registered as an official person and we've been to visit a couple of family members.  We also took OJ to his first Christmas event at the weekend (lights switch on) in the baby carrier and he was so snug and cosy!

Me: I'm trying to be better with my diet and I've been having the occasional treat but generally healthy snacks such as fruit or yoghurt.  I was 57 kg this morning and I'm more than happy with that.  I've been really struggling with constipation since OJ was born and the GP prescribed me some lactulose a week ago.  Unfortunately it's not helped at all so far and, as I also have horrible haemorrhoids, going to the toilet is horrendous right now.  I really sympathise with OJ when he starts crying whilst trying to poop!

2 weeks 1 day old - all fed, changed and happy with his bear.

2 weeks 1 day old - enjoying some tummy time.

2 weeks 2 days old - sitting in his cushion watching mummy have breakfast.

2 weeks 3 days old - first time actually enjoying his bath, he pretty much slept straight through it!

2 weeks 3 days old - fast asleep on daddy's shoulder.

2 weeks 3 days old - all this eating and pooping is tiring work.

2 weeks 5 days old - sleeping in mummy's spot whilst I watched over him because he would only settle on his side thanks to the reflux.

2 weeks 6 days old - posing on his favourite blanket in mummy's favourite Winnie-the-Pooh sleepsuit (that never lasts more than 10 minutes because he seems to enjoy vomiting on it).

2 weeks 6 days old - sitting on daddy's chest holding his own head up already!

3 weeks old - enjoying his bath whilst actually awake after a giant poop explosion that came out of the back, sides AND front of his nappy.

Baby Update - 2 weeks

(I've had this ready to post since last week when he turned 2 weeks old but we've been without internet for the last few days so I'm a bit late actually sharing it)

Age:  2 weeks

Weight: 7 lb 8.5 oz (weighed at 1 week 6 days)

Feeding: Feeding isn't really in much of a routine as yet.  Quite often OJ will only go 1.5 hours between feeds, sometimes only an hour!  However, he'll have odd periods during the day (often in the afternoon) where he'll sleep for 3-4 hours during feeds.  It's always wonderful when these longer gaps happen overnight but, other than one particular night, he's wanted to feed more regularly.  We are having a few issues with his latch, especially on the right side and sometimes it takes a while to get him comfortable.  It was mentioned by one of the midwives that he might have a slight tongue tie and, on consultation with the Health Visitor today, it was suggested that we get him in with the GP to check it over although it appears to be mild.

Sleep: Sleep has been up and down.  Some nights he'll go down between every feed and sleep for 1.5-3 hours, other times he'll be wide awake or end up with hiccups.  We are doing okay though and I'm just about getting enough.

Routine: As expected, our routine has changed quite a lot since ALS went back to work.  We are heading to bed around 11 pm, take it in turns occupying OJ whilst the other gets ready for bed and then ALS settles down for the night whilst I give OJ a final feed then put him down in his Moses basket once he's settled.  Fortunately he's been sleeping quite well in between feeds so, even though the feeds are sometimes only 1.5 hours apart, I'm getting a reasonable amount of sleep.  ALS, like myself, has always been somewhat of a restless sleeper so he'll often get up and give me a hand with nappy changes overnight - mostly because there's no chance of sleeping through them as OJ likes to make his disgust at having his clothes off known!  In a morning, if ALS isn't at work early we take it in turns occupying OJ whilst the other gets ready/has breakfast and we get OJ ready for the day together.  On the days where ALS has been at work early and I've not had anything to do I've been getting up a little later (if OJ goes down again after his 6-7 am feed).  I get him changed and dressed for the day then head downstairs and have my own breakfast.  At some point he'll have a feed and settle down, giving me enough time for a quick shower and to get myself ready.  

Likes/dislikes:  He loves tummy time and sucking on his (or your) fingers.  He's still very much not keen on having his clothes/nappy changed.

Firsts: I took OJ out for his first walk on my own on Tuesday whilst ALS was at work.  He's working reduced hours this week to ease me into being alone and then he's back to full time hours next week and it's been a godsend having a "practice week".  We also tried breastfeeding in public (Costa coffee).

Milestones: OJ had regained his birth weight by day 10 and has now surpassed it - we have therefore been discharged by the Community Midwife and are under the Health Visitor now.  I also had a night this week where I got 8 hours sleep (in a 3 hour stint, then a 2 hour stint and then another 3 hour stint) in between feeds which was phenomenal.

Things we did: We've had lots more visitors and been out for a few more walks.  We've done lots of shopping including a good long Christmas shopping trip on Saturday afternoon, trying to get some quality family time in before ALS went back to work.  We also got OJ registered with our GP Surgery and managed to get our living room/bedroom back into some kind of order after all the chaos of bringing him home last week.

Me:  My weight is up and down but I'm trying not to pay too much attention to it considering I can't exercise for another 4 weeks.  I'm constantly starving and being at home a lot doesn't help - the temptation to snack is just too much.  I have a feeling that by the time I can exercise, I'll have some weight to burn off!

8 days old and hatching some sort of dastardly plan!

8 days old and looking suspicious!

10 days old - snuggled up in his teddy bear bath towel, looking like a little Italian!

12 days old and I finally captured one of his favourite facial expressions.

13 days old enjoying his bouncer - although not for long, he struggles to hold himself up in it for now.

2 weeks old - the day of EIGHT outfit changes because he kept either vomiting or leaking on them and then I leaked breast milk all over one too!

Gorgeous cupcakes made by one of my cousins who came to visit this week - this wonderful lady also made our wedding cake and her cakes are absolutely divine.

Another fabulous present that OJ received this week - The Gruffalo story sack which contains the book, tape, soft toys, hand puppet, jigsaws and reading notes so it'll grow with him as he gets older.

Me at 2 weeks postpartum, I'm definitely shrinking back down to normal but it'll be a long time before I look like I did before.  I'm perfectly okay with that and I'm expecting to get bigger before I get smaller due to not being able to exercise.

Hospital Bag Essentials!

I spent hours poring over lists of what to pack and what not to pack in my hospital bag and eventually compiled my own list.  I had my bag packed from around 29 weeks (it can't hurt to be prepared, especially given that my sister-in-law had just given birth at 32 weeks and was completely unprepared) other than a few essentials such as phone chargers and my toothbrush that I would need in the interim.  I had a small suitcase for me and used the changing bag for OJ's stuff.

I won't post my entire list on here but I will give you a quick run down of what turned out to be absolutely essential and what ended up being completely unnecessary - obviously it depends on your experience of labour, how long you're in the hospital and various other things but this is what I found.

Absolute must-have items:

• Isotonic drinks (Lucozade/Powerade/Gatorade) - As you'll find out when I finally post my birth story, I spent a LOT of my time vomiting in labour.  Water was provided of course but I found that the isotonic drinks helped to give me something with a bit of flavour whilst hydrating me a little.  If nothing else it made a nice change throwing up something sweet rather than just bile.  Even if you're not sick they're great to give you a bit of a boost.
• Maternity pads (lots of them) - I put a whole pack of maternity pads in my bag and I STILL ran out.  I'd prepared to need them after birth for the bleeding but I hadn't taken into consideration that my waters had gone before I even left for the hospital and they continued to leak all day.  I soaked through the whole pack of maternity pads before I even made it to the delivery suite and had to send ALS to the shop to get some more.  After the birth I experienced pretty heavy bleeding and got through another half a pack in the 24 hours before we came home.  I was given a maternity pad when I came out of theatre but when we were on the ward we were informed that they would not be able to provide any and ALS would have to go and buy some for me - a lot of people I've spoken to said hospitals provided them so it's just something to be aware of.
• Slippers - I never wear slippers so I bought a pair specifically for the hospital and they came in so handy.  I didn't want to be walking around in my shoes but barefoot was definitely not an option.  A pair of comfy slippers was a godsend and I've been wearing them non-stop since I got home.  The first few days I was home I had so much swelling they were the only thing I could fit my feet in!
• Plenty of spare clothes/nightwear - Again this depends on your experience but I spent quite a bit of time on the ward before I was in "established labour" and taken to the delivery suite.  During those 10 hours or so I was fully clothed the whole time and soaked through pretty much all the clothes I'd taken with me thanks to my waters leaking (even with pads on).  Admittedly if I hadn't been vomiting I don't think my waters would have been leaking so forcefully through the pads but it can't hurt to be prepared.  I spent most of my time in hospital in a gown but I still got through a lot of clothes before we made it to that point.
• Shower gel - This was something that I didn't think to take for some reason! I'd just put "toiletries" on my list and never thought to pick it up when I packed my toiletries the morning I went into hospital.  I was so grateful to be able to have a shower a few hours after delivery and felt a lot better just for washing myself with water, but it would have been nice to feel properly clean!
• Snacks - Whilst I didn't eat any of the snacks we brought with us (in fact I didn't eat anything at all for the duration of the labour) and the hospital food turned out to be very nice, it was definitely useful for ALS having plenty of snacks to keep his energy up.  By the time OJ was born we'd been awake for well over 24 hours and the hospital do not provide food for partners.  Our midwife in the delivery suite was very nice and brought ALS a few cups of coffee but for the times we were on the antenatal/postnatal ward he wasn't offered so much as a glass of water, so it was really helpful that we had packed plenty of drinks and snacks for him and meant he didn't have to leave me to get himself food.
• Baby wipes - Surprisingly, these aren't for baby.  They like you to clean your baby with cotton wool and water as it is perfectly gentle on that fragile newborn skin and that's exactly what we did.  However, baby wipes are a useful tool in any bag for any trip anywhere.  Even before becoming a parent I always carried a pack of baby wipes and they were great for freshening up before I was allowed to get up and have a shower.

Items taking up space unnecessarily:

• Birthing ball - This is again a bit of an individual one but I was adamant I wanted to take my birthing ball with me.  Firstly, the hospital had plenty of birthing balls that I could have used so packing mine (along with the pump) really was a waste of space.  Secondly, I insisted ALS blew up my birthing ball when I was starting to have regular contractions and then used it for all of 5 seconds before declaring that there was no way of getting comfortable with it - that is entirely my personal experience and had I not been vomiting so hard it may have been different.
• Entertainment - I packed my iPod, a book and a puzzle book to keep me entertained in early labour or after the baby was born.  In my case, the contractions kicked in strongly very quickly and between them and the vomiting I didn't even have chance to think about needing entertainment.  Once I'd had the epidural I did actually get the puzzle book out but it was hard to get into a comfortable position to write in it and quite frankly I was too busy talking to the midwife, having observations done, talking to my birth partners and trying to catch up on a little sleep.  Once OJ was born I had no desire to do anything other than spend time with him and ALS and just enjoy every second of it.
• Swimwear - I didn't actually get to use the birthing pool but, even if I had, I can categorically confirm I would have just headed in there naked - the midwives need to be able to see what is going on and trying to change clothes between contractions is just hard work.  I know some women are easily embarrassed or feel uncomfortable but I was perfectly comfortable with everything on display most of the time. 
• Disposable maternity pants - I thought these would be really useful but the ones I bought, although they were size "small" were massive and wouldn't hold the maternity pads in place which ended up with a lot of blood going everywhere.  In hindsight someone did mention that it may have been worth putting them on and putting a normal pair of pants on top which might have been worth a try but honestly I was more comfortable just in dark pants with good solid maternity pads.
• Dummies - If you're breastfeeding they will advise that you don't give your baby a dummy for at least 4 weeks so as to get feeding established beforehand.  We hadn't actually planned on using a dummy as early as the hospital but it's worth noting that the recommendation was to avoid them so early on.

So there you have it, my essentials and the things that I wouldn't bother with next time.  It's all personal preference and entirely depends on the kind of experience you have - for example, if you were waiting for a planned Caesarean or being induced then entertainment could be far more necessary.

What did you pack in your hospital bag that turned out to be invaluable?  Did you find you had a lot of bits and bobs that you were wondering why you'd bothered packing them?

Baby Blues?

Our wonderful little boy is 11 days old today and ALS has gone back to work. The hardest time for me when I'm feeling upset or emotional about anything is night time when it's dark, I'm alone with my thoughts and there is nobody to distract me. This brings me to where I am right now; curled up on the sofa, holding my baby tight and trying not to let my tears land on his face. I'm hoping that by writing down some of my feelings I can straighten my head out but this post may feel really jumbled to anyone reading it.

Basically I'm overwhelmed by how much love I have for this tiny human and the thought of him growing up and not being my baby forever is devastating to me. Out is a thought I struggled with even during pregnancy, just seeing how fast the time was going and almost wishing I could be pregnant longer because I was scared of him growing up before he was even here!

Most of the time when these thoughts sneak into my head I manage to dismiss them and try to look forward to the future - seeing him develop a personality, watching him reach his milestones and all the fun things we will do together - but sometimes I just cannot shake them and I end up sitting in tears. I've waited for so long to be a mum and I can't believe it's finally happening but it's already whizzing by and the thought of missing even a moment is heartbreaking. Even just going in the bath and leaving him downstairs with ALS is hard and I spend the whole time missing him.

Maybe these feelings stem from the fact that I'm very aware he may be my only child and I may not get to experience this again - I'm even wishing I could have a second chance at labour. But then I feel guilty for even wanting another child because I don't want to replace this feeling of love for him, I just want it to last longer.

I'm hoping this is just the hormones and baby blues and isn't going to turn into full blown depression. I've been known to have depression before and my mum had severe postnatal depression so I'll be keeping a close eye on it. I'm hoping that isn't the case as I have had no trouble bonding with him or dealing with day ti day parenting and I am managing to eat and sleep okay (when he lets me).

The thought of going back to work is filling me with dread even though it's almost a year away but hopefully, as he will be older, I'll feel a bit happier that he's okay being away from me.

I just want to cuddle him and stare at him forever - when he looks up into my face and stares at me it absolutely melts my heart and overwhelms me.  I know it wouldn't be practical to have a newborn forever and I know he's got his own life to live and I'll be so proud of all the things he does, but it doesn't stop me wanting to freeze time and snuggle him forever.

How did you feel about your newborns getting bigger and older? Were you excited to watch them grow or reluctant to let go of the tiny vulnerable bundle of poop and snuggles?

Baby Update - 1 week

Age:  1 week

Weight: 7 lb 1 oz (weighed today)

Feeding: It has been a rollercoaster!  OJ was offered the breast a couple of times on the afternoon he was born and on the third attempt he got the hang of it.  He fed really well in hospital and continued to do so when we got home.  He would feed for half an hour at a time and up to about 12 times a day.  However, 4 days later my milk still hadn't come in and he'd only had one wet nappy in 24 hours.  We took him to see the midwife on Monday (3 days ago) and he'd dropped down to 6 lb 10 oz from a birth weight of 7 lb 4 oz.  This was an 8.5% loss and they like it to be 8% or less so, whilst it wasn't excessive, they asked me to feed him every 2 hours round the clock and hopefully my milk would come in soon.  Apparently it's quite common for your milk to take longer to come in if you had a long labour or heavy blood loss, both of which were issues for me.  For the last few days he's been feeding 2 hourly day and night but having shorter feeds lasting more around 10-15 minutes, except for last night where he fed twice an hour then went 2 hours in between, leading to me having to wake him up, and repeated that pattern all night.  When the midwife came to weigh him today he was back up to 7 lb 1 oz which is a gain of 5 oz (180 g) in 3 days and they were very, very happy with him.  I've been given the green light to go back to feeding him on demand and only wake him up if he's gone for 4 hours without a feed so hopefully I'll get a bit more sleep.

Sleep: We can't really complain - for the first couple of nights at home he was really unsettled and we couldn't put him down in his Moses basket at night.  He did sleep well in the day though.  We got into a good routine of me napping on the sofa between 10 and 12 pm whilst ALS looked after OJ, then us going to bed and me taking over for the night feeds.  I would wake ALS up at night if I needed a bit of a break and then he would get up around 6 am and take OJ downstairs so I could get a solid few hours (although he often had to bring him back for a feed once in between).  However, since my milk came in OJ has been a lot more settled - most of the time after a feed he will fall straight to sleep and I can pop him down and get a bit of sleep myself, although having to feed him every 2 hours meant that, by the time he'd fed and settled, I was probably only getting an hour at a time.  It has meant that ALS has had a couple of nights where he's got to sleep pretty much solidly from 1 am to around 6 or 7 am, just with small interruptions when I have to do a nappy change - because it's impossible to do so quietly.  I've been binge watching Once Upon a Time during night feeds to keep me entertained and I've survived quite well.  However, I am very much looking forward to not having to feed every 2 hours at night.  Most of the time I was having to wake him up for the feed, which meant it took a while for him to be alert enough to want to latch on.  Letting him call the shots might mean that I get slightly longer stints of sleep in between feeds - I won't hold my breath but if it works out as it has been seeming to then we should be in a decent position for when ALS goes back to work next week.  Fortunately noise doesn't seem to disturb OJ at all so I can get on with whatever I want once he's asleep.

Routine: We have had quite a good routine with ALS getting up early with OJ initially and since he's been sleeping between we both get up around 8 am.  I will feed OJ whilst ALS gets some breakfast and gets ready for the day then he takes him and I get myself fed and showered.  Throughout the day we just kind of take turns but ALS has been great at looking after me when I've been stuck feeding for long periods of time.  We tend to do nappy changes together (mostly in an attempt to make them quicker and not get peed on).  We've tried to get out of the house at least every other day and been successful so far!  Things will change dramatically when ALS heads back to work but for now I feel like we're doing pretty well.

Likes/dislikes:  OJ absolutely hates having his clothes taken off, I'm guessing it's because he gets a bit chilly maybe.  Nappy changes are therefore the only time he really cries but as soon as we start putting his clothes back on he settles down again.  He loves having tummy time if he's lying on your chest and especially enjoys sleeping on his tummy on ALS' chest, which is adorable to see.  When he's awake he loves being held close to you so that he can watch your facial expressions.

Firsts: We've had all of the firsts this week... first feed, first nappy change, first bath (he wasn't very impressed but he was already upset before we started due to having had a poo explosion, the water did settle him a little bit though), first trip to the supermarket, first walk in the park, first hiccups (and MANY more, poor thing gets them all the time).  I'm sure there's more and the rate of firsts will slow down over the next few weeks but it's been a busy 7 days and everything is new right now!

Milestones: No major milestones hit but establishing breastfeeding has been a real achievement and I have to say that the support from the midwives and community teams has been incredible.  I also managed my first breastfeed in the car (parked) when we'd been stuck in traffic for ages and OJ was getting very distressed.

Things we did:  We've been shopping a couple of times and we've been out for a couple of walks when the weather allows.  We actually managed a nice 5k walk at only 3 days old.  OJ slept the whole time but it was great for ALS and I to get out and get some fresh air.  We've had a lot of visitors and in between there's been a lot of quality family time with snuggles, watching sitcoms and finding our feet as parents.

Me:  I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 57.9 kg which, considering I started pregnancy at 58.5 kg is quite impressive.  I had a lot of fluid retention after birth so when I left the hospital I'd only left 1 lb despite having given birth to a 7 lb baby, but that's settled now.  I did actually drop down to around 55 kg during pregnancy when I started to lose muscle so being under pre-pregnancy weight isn't too surprising considering I'm carrying no muscle at all.  I'm still very sore down below from a combination of the delivery and pretty severe haemorrhoids.  The day we came home from the hospital I felt like I'd been hit by a bus and every muscle ached but by the day after that I'd stopped the pain relief and I feel like I've recovered pretty well.  I'm taking some time to appreciate what my body has actually achieved over the last week (not to mention in the 9 months beforehand) and I'm amazed by it.  Breastfeeding wise my breasts are very tender and getting rock hard between feeds, especially having gone from every 2 hours to a bit less often, but I've been able to hand express a little to get some relief.

I realise that I've still not posted my birth story but I've not really had time to sit and write it, plus it's taking me some time to get my head around it and make sure I have all the facts straight.  It was quite traumatic so it may be another couple of weeks before I have the mental strength to write it all out, please bear with me.  I'm struggling a little bit with my emotions - mostly just wishing that time would freeze so that my baby stays a baby forever - and I don't want to drag up any more emotional outbursts than necessary.

For now, here's a few photos of our first week:

This is our first photo, just a few moments after OJ was born and put on my chest for skin to skin.

OJ's first outfit a few hours after we got up to the ward.

1 day old and ready to come home from the hospital.

2 days old and about to go on our first trip out - nowhere exciting, just food shopping.  I love this little Winnie-the-Pooh hat/bib set.  We have quite a lot of Winnie-the-Pooh stuff that has been bought for us coincidentally, but this was a set I bought myself.

3 days old on our first trip to the local park - he'll be spending a lot of time there in the years to come as we already visited a lot before we had him and it's got a fantastic play area for kids.

OJ with the giant teddy bear that some of our friends bought for him.  We are going to use this to take photos with and record his growth.  This was at 5 days and 6 lb 10 oz.

6 days old, post-feed, taking it all in.

6 days old, just after his first bath.  As soon as he gets his scratch mitts off he loves to soothe himself by sucking on his fingers.  Maybe this will help us avoid the need for a dummy!

1 week old and perfectly summed up by his changing mat!

These are the presents we have had from visitor so far - little OJ has been absolutely spoiled rotten and certainly won't be running out of clothes any time soon.  It's great seeing so many little boy clothes as obviously, with us not knowing the gender during pregnancy, everything we already had was white/cream and although it's cute and we're still using it, it's nice dressing him in blue too!

This is me at 1 week postpartum and a pair of tiny feet if you look closely!  Despite being down on weight I definitely still have a little bit of a pouch going on.  I'm very happy with how well everything has shrunk back down (the contractions during breastfeeding for the first few days were pretty intense but it means my uterus has shrunk right back down quite quickly).  I'm looking forward to watching my body change and go back to "normal" or even better than before but I'm taking time to recover and won't be getting back to any serious exercise for a good few weeks.  For now, walking and pelvic floor exercises is more than enough.

Change

Change is an absolutely incredible thing.

Over the last few weeks ALS and I have been watching the Harry Potter movies and we had just one left to go.  We decided to watch the final one tonight and for the first hour and a half we watched whilst Ozzy slept in ALS' arms. 

I had a few really odd moments during the movie where I'd completely forget that anything had changed and I'd think it was just the two of us watching a movie like normal, then I'd hear Ozzy stir in ALS' arms and remember the little miracle that we've been blessed with.

So much has changed in the last week yet so much has remained the same too. There's no denying our lives have now changed forever but it is in the most wonderful way and it's all about him now. Our little family unit is all that matters.

I ended up getting very emotional over the film and then just generally emotional over everything, including all the change (hormones have lot to answer for) so we turned it off and watched some light comedy stuff instead to distract my brain from thinking too hard - a dangerous thing at the best of times.

I've never liked change. Change is hard but change is good and this is definitely one change I'm embracing and throwing myself into wholly.

Pregnancy - 40 week update

This update is a little late as, last Wednesday on my due date at 5:30 am my waters broke!  It will also therefore be a bit of a messy update but I'm doing it for completeness.  We are enjoying adapting to our new life as a family and there will be a birth story and pictures in my next post.

How far along?  40 weeks

How big is baby?  The size of a pumpkin (or a red panda).

Total weight gain/loss?  I'm going to guess I ended at around 65 kg (with my waters breaking I didn't weigh myself at 40 weeks) so that would be a total weight gain of 6.5 kg (just over a stone).

Waist? I didn't get to measure my waist either but I'm pretty sure it hadn't grown much from the week before.

Stretchmarks?  None whatsoever, which I am very proud of and thankful for.

Maternity clothes?  Exactly the same as before - I spent the last week in my leggings and stretchy t-shirts.

Sleep?  A bit broken over the last few nights but not too horrendous.

Best moment this week?  We went out for a lovely walk to our local park at the weekend, it's been great staying so active until the end and it was a nice day out as just the two of us.

Movement?  Still plenty, still mostly at night.  Lots of hiccups!

Food cravings?  Nothing in particular.

Food aversions?  Nothing really.

Gender?   Just that very strong feeling that it's a girl.

Labour signs?  A few crampy period pains overnight for the last few nights - I went for a really long walk yesterday and we had sex last night so maybe something will start (obviously it did).

Pregnancy symptoms?  Heartburn is still in full swing, as is the backache.

Belly button in or out?  Still just flat.

What I miss?  I'm starting to miss being able to curl up comfortably in bed and the closeness with ALS.  We've not cuddled in weeks because I'm surrounded by pillows all the time. 

What I am looking forward to?  Meeting my little one - 2 weeks maximum wait now!

Upcoming appointments/scans?  I am due to see the midwife again today and  I have a sweep booked with the Consultant on 6th November (40+5) if Pip hasn't made an appearance by then.  

 Weekly wisdom?  Enjoy your last few days of relaxation, any one could be your last day pre-parenthood so make the most of it before the biggest adventure of your life starts! 

Milestones?  Due date today!

Bump picture: 

This ended up as my last bump picture and was actually taken very early in the morning after my waters had gone.  My bump actually looks a really different shape - the photo wasn't taken very well as I was half asleep and a bit overexcited!