A Sensitive Subject!

I've been toying with the idea of this post for a while and thought it might be too much, but it's an important issue with nowhere near enough information out there so I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway.

Generally, when you think of conception you think of sex.  It's the natural way to make babies and whilst it's incredibly intimate anyway, it can be far more intimate when you're trying to create a new life.  For anyone suffering with infertility, it can become more stressful than pleasurable; it's not so intimate when you're trying to time sex around ovulation, use the most "conception friendly" positions and desperately waiting for that positive test.

Due to us having no infertility problems, I never considered how much the IVF would affect our sex life.  Obviously I knew that coming off my pills would mean we had to turn to condoms for contraception, something that we had already experienced whilst having our fertility tests in the first place.  It's a bit more expensive and kind of ruins a moment, but it's a small price to pay to remain intimate.

Unfortunately, what neither of us took into consideration was that IVF is incredibly un-sexy.  Since a few days into the stimulation cycle I've been incredibly bloated, which makes me less than attractive.  By day 7 I noticed when I had my scan that it was quite uncomfortable just getting the ultrasound probe inserted and everything felt incredibly tight down there.  Due to the ovaries expanding with all the follicles everything has been pushed down somewhat (like it would be during a period but to a more significant extent).  Whilst enjoying a nice relaxing bath on day 10 I tried inserting a finger into myself, just to see what was going on down there and just that was very uncomfortable.  I won't even go into the discharge/cervical mucous that's another common side effect.

We've managed to remain intimate with making sure ALS ejaculates regularly to keep the sperm healthy but there's not been anything in the way of orgasms for me.  ALS has been more than happy to try anything for me but I'm nervous of it affecting the quality of the eggs (we never had chance to discuss it with our nurse) and everything is very tender, to the point where wiping after urinating is painful.  As of 3 days before the retrieval his pleasure had to stop as well so that his sperm is at its best quality (and a good volume) ready for the collection.

My thoughts on the matter are a little jumbled at the moment because over the last 2 days I've experienced horrendous fatigue - another side effect, made worse by my EDS - but what I'm trying to say is be prepared.  It's not a time where intimacy is easy, or even possible sometimes, but spend time together doing things you enjoy, make sure there are plenty of cuddles and do what you can to keep your relationship strong.  Communication is key as it's a stressful time for you physically but your husband is going through the emotional side of things just as much as you are - he probably feels guilty that he's can't take more of the physical burden as well.

Just remember, it will all be worth it one day.