The Night Before...

Tomorrow things change forever.  Tomorrow we either embark on the final stage of our journey to become a family of four or we accept that we have to stay a family of three for the foreseeable future.  I'm leaning heavily towards the latter.

The last nine days has been hard going.  I was already pessimistic because of being ill the weekend before the transfer, being ill immediately before the transfer, the complications with the ultrasound and then the flea infestation however, as the week has gone on, I've just had more and more of a gut feeling that it just hasn't worked.  

Over the weekend I felt a bit rubbish again and the last two nights I've felt so sick, my stomach has been upset and I've had chills or hot sweats.  It's all the hormones so I'll be glad to see the back of them at least.  On Saturday I had a moment of madness.  I found a pregnancy test in the drawer from last time.  It expired in April 2018 but I took it anyway, not because I thought it would be positive but because I thought seeing the negative might make it sink in a bit.  It didn't help.  I just told myself it was an expired test, it was only five days post-transfer, it would never have been positive.

We had another one leftover so I decided to do it this morning, to prepare myself for tomorrow.  Another stark negative.  I knew it would be.  Part of me keeps thinking that maybe it's because it was expired, maybe it really is still too early.  Last time I got a positive at 9 days but my HCG was REALLY high so maybe it wouldn't detect it now anyway.  But deep down I know. 

Part of me thinks that I'm prepared and that I'm going to cope fine because I'm expecting it to have failed and I have that gut feeling.  Part of me thinks I'm going to be absolutely floored because I think I can cope and I might not be expecting the emotions.  I really don't know how I'll react.  It'll be the first time I'm making the call too, Ant did it the last two times as I was at work.  In just 17 hours I should know, although a big part of me already does.

When the first transfer failed I was gutted but I had the knowledge that we could try again, we could keep trying.  This time, I might have to accept that that's it.  Even if it's not, we have to start over.  We have to find a LOT of money.  It will take time.  There's no guarantee that it will be successful either.  We still have COVID to contend with.  It's a lot of stress on my body.  Theoretically it should be easier this time because I already have Oscar.  I have a child, everything I ever dreamed of.  It's selfish of me to want more, it's cruel of me to feel like one isn't enough.  But in a way having Oscar makes it even harder because I know what I'm missing out on.  Being his mum has been the hardest thing I've ever done, there have been days I've cried and felt like a failure but it has been the most amazing experience, full of laughter and joy.  I've grown so much as a person and watching him grown and learn makes my heart feel like it could explode every single day.  

More than that though, I really want to give him a sibling.  I really think he needs one.  I struggled growing up as an only child, it was lonely and I didn't have a lot of friends especially in my teenage years.  However, I had my cousin.  We lived close, we spent a lot of time as a family and we were the only ones without siblings.  Oscar won't have that.  He has one cousin and one on the way from Ant's stepbrother but we don't see them often and they will have each other.  He probably won't have any from Ant's brother as he doesn't want children.  Maybe he'll be a social butterfly and flourish as an only child.  Maybe he will get a sibling but they won't get on.  But my biggest fear is that the age gap will prevent them from being as close as they could be because we will have to wait to try again.  The likelihood is that Oscar will be at least 5 by the time we have another baby IF we get to do it.  That's almost the same gap as Ant and his brother and they are close now but during childhood they were always at different stages so it was hard for them to connect.  

On the bright side I did learn today that I don't have to go to the drive through blood testing which opens at 9 and I can actually go to the main hospital attached to the fertility clinic which opens at 7:30, so I can get it out of the way and be back in time to do some work while Ant takes Oscar swimming hopefully.  Then just the agonising wait until 2 PM when we get the results.  I'll probably need to post to let my feelings out but it may be a few days before I find the words...

Community Paediatrician

 As if we didn't have enough going on this week, we had our first telephone appointment with the Community Paediatrician this week.  She was lovely!  Ant took Oscar out for a walk so I could focus on the consultation and we were on the phone for just over an hour in the end.

I'm not going to go into great detail about symptoms etc because I've done that previously and will continue to do I'm sure.  Instead I'll just give an overview of the conversation.

The doctor basically asked why we had been referred and what our concerns were.  She asked questions about my pregnancy, birth history, family history, Oscar's medical history, specific areas of concern and then asked about things that would raise concern to her - sensory issues, eating, sleep, development, language, social interaction etc.

She agreed that he sounds developmentally age-appropriate but a little behind with his social interaction and particularly in understanding the subtleties of language and communication such as not understanding my tone when he's doing something inappropriate or thinking someone passing him in the street will take the ball he's carrying even when they aren't looking at him.  She suggested that this could be a delay in social communication or it could be a sign of autism.

We spent quite a lot of time discussing sensory issues including the throwing which I now think may be a type of proprioceptive stimming. She agreed with me that diagnosis wasn't the entire issue here as, even if she turns around and says he isn't autistic, we still have the sensory issues and behaviour to deal with.  It won't just go away.  I'm glad she appreciated that because so often diagnosis is the be all and end all and you get no support without a diagnosis or just get a diagnosis and then get sent on your way. 

From here we have to await a speech and language review which will be done at nursery with us present and then the Community Paediatrician will see us face-to-face, hopefully before the end of the year but I won't hold my breath.  She's sending me some information to self-refer to a sensory course run by Occupational Therapists but isn't sure if it will be running at the moment with COVID.  She suggested we set up a calming sensory area in the house for Oscar, with something like an aquarium.  I'm not sure how much money/space she thinks we have but it is something we are thinking about ideas for and I'll update once we make any progress with it.  

So that's where we are at for now... it gave us a lot to think about and honestly it was just nice to feel heard and to know that we aren't bad parents, we aren't doing anything wrong and we aren't making it all up.  There are clearly difficulties that he has and that we should really be able to help him with so I'm hopeful that we can make his life easier.

Transfer #3: The Final Embryo

Two days ago, on Monday 14 September, I headed down to London accompanied by one of my closest friends for our embryo transfer.  Our final little frostie.  Potentially our last chance.  Obviously, as expected, it was not quite straightforward but our little one is snuggled up back where it belongs and that is what is important. 

I was pretty ill over the weekend with an upset stomach and spent most of Saturday night clutching a bowl feeling sick, having diarrhoea and feeling faint to the point that I just lay on the bathroom floor from about 2:30-6 AM and got no sleep.  I took it easy on Sunday but still didn't feel 100% by Monday and I'd lost 1.5 kg in the previous four days.

We were due to get the 07:56 train from Derby and (due to her husband getting up late) we had to run to the platform and made it onto the train with 26 seconds to spare.  Great start to the day but, as we made it, we had a good laugh about it and settled into the journey.  I was quite anxious, nausea and just generally felt a bit crappy on the way down there but felt much better once we got off the train into the fresh air.  We got an Uber straight to the hospital and then had a bit of time to kill so we walked to Tesco, grabbed some food and then sat on a bench and chilled.  I started drinking about 10:30 (my appointment was 11:30 and needed a full bladder).  

I had a 500 ml bottle of Lucozade with my food and then at 11:00 I went up to the ACU.  I made the mistake of walking the 11 flights of stairs and almost killed myself.  I then drank another 2 litres of water whilst I was waiting and was taken in for my appointment around 12:00.  About this point I realised that I may have been dehydrated from the weekend and the liquid was just being used rather than going to my bladder, I saw my veins fill up as I was sitting there.  I told the woman who took me through that I was unsure if my bladder was full as I'd had over 2.5 litres and I didn't even feel like I needed to pee.  I signed the forms, assumed the position (with serious hip cramp) and inevitably my bladder was basically empty so they shipped me off to a recovery room with just a table and chairs to drink another 1.5 litres at least.  

I downed another 2 litres in the space of about 15 minutes and then felt very queasy.  I tried to keep drinking and as the woman came back to get me I told her I felt sick.  She just about got a bowl to me in time and I threw up three times, insane amounts of liquid, well over a litre altogether.  However, once I'd sorted myself out, they decided my bladder was indeed full enough and the transfer took place.  That in itself was a bit of a nightmare.  The woman doing the ultrasound couldn't get it in the right place and the doctor had to keep taking it off her.  Honestly I was starting to worry she was going to blow the whole procedure but the doctor was amazing and little embryo #3 ended up in perfect position apparently!

I met back up with my friend and we got an Uber straight back to the station, grabbed some McDonald's chips (IVF tradition) and then headed back to the train.  We chatted on the way home and I was definitely far more relaxed (aside from needing a wee most of the way back).  We shall just have to wait and see what happens now.  I'm actually not posting this until 5dp5dt so I'll do a separate post about how I'm feeling now!

Almost Time!

 So week 4 of the IVF meds brought nothing new.  My appetite returned a bit but I've still had some stomach issues - this weekend particularly has been really hard.  I've not been able to eat without having cramps and diarrhoea within an hour afterwards.  Touch wood, today I've felt a bit better so hopefully it was just a blip.

I had my scan last Tuesday but my lining was still only 6 mm and they asked to see me again on Saturday.  Typically Saturday was the least convenient day as my in-laws were away for the weekend and Ant had to take the morning off work so I could go to Sheffield.  Fortunately, my lining was 8.5 mm so they were happy to proceed with transfer.  I asked if I could have seven days' notice to be able to get free train tickets (my business mentor works for the train company).  The lovely nurse, Trish, in Sheffield said she would tell Guy's to make it for the following Monday or Tuesday which would give me nine or ten days.  She asked me to ring back in the afternoon when they would have heard back from Guy's.  However, I wasn't sure my medication liquid would last me as long as I needed, especially if they decided on Tuesday so I had to wait for a prescription.  It took the pharmacy an hour and a half to get the prescription ready so I was just doing laps around the outside of the hospital waiting in the cold - the car park has no signal so I couldn't wait for the call there.

Eventually I got home but when I rang that afternoon they hadn't heard from Guy's so they told me to ring back today (Monday).  Honestly, I was stressed out.  I'm a compulsive planner and the worst part of IVF for me is the constant not knowing.  I was absolutely furious with Guy's for not bothering to get back to the nurses at Sheffield but I tolerated it. 

Today I rang at 14:00 as planned and they still hadn't received a response so they asked me to call back again half an hour later.  I did, although it took me until around 14:50 to get through and then they STILL hadn't heard back from Guy's.  The nurse was super apologetic and handed it over to her superior to chase up for me.  She asked me to ring back at 15:30.  Again I rang back and she still hadn't heard from them but they had emailed Guy's again.  I explained the train situation and she apologised again.  However, she rang back less than ten minutes later to say that my transfer was booked for 11:30 on Monday 14th September!  She told me she wanted to let me know as soon as possible so I could get my tickets and thanks to my brilliant mentor I now have free travel to London!

I'd been stressing about the whole situation but my best friend had taken it all out of my hands.  I asked her months ago to come with me as we knew it would be less stressful if Ant was taking care of Oscar rather than faffing with childcare. Obviously COVID changed things a little but she promised to still come if she was able (by law) and when I wasn't sure I'd be able to get the train tickets I told her I couldn't take her.  I couldn't ask her to shell out for a ticket but couldn't afford to pay for two.  She immediately started planning routes, avoiding the tube, offered to drive me and all sorts.  She really has been a lifesaver and as it happens we have managed to get the train tickets so we can sit back and relax.  It's just a shame that she won't be allowed in the actual transfer as that would have made it much more worth it for her but she doesn't seem to mind at all.  She's a wonderful friend!

I'm actually finishing this post two days later than I started it so I did my last injection last night and started my pessaries today.  I'm finding a little bit more energy, managed a short workout last night and did a 5.5 km walk with Oscar in the pushchair at naptime today.  Here's hoping it lasts and I'm in good shape for the transfer!

Working on Baby #2

 So my intentions to document this FET cycle like the previous ones have gone a little astray.  Somehow I'm over three weeks into the cycle and haven't done a single post, although I have been documenting reasonably regularly on Instagram.

During lockdown I got into the best shape I've ever been in.  I was lean, strong, 53 kg and almost had abs.  I ate well but plenty.  I felt great!  Then we went on holiday and I had a proper binge week.  When we came back I was good again for a couple of weeks in the lead up to starting the medications.  Since I've started the medications it has been hard work.

Week 1:

- Started Suprecur injections on 4 August.
- Constantly hungry, ate anything and everyhing.
- Lots of headaches, some really severe.
- Cut back the caffeine to training days only. 
- Still worked out but dropped the intensity and limited walking as I hurt my foot.

Week 2:

- Continued Suprecur injections.
- Still eating lots but trying to keep it balanced.
- Still lots of headaches.
- Continued to only have caffeine on training days and cut out completely by the end of the week.
- Workouts the same as previous week.

Week 3:

- Scan showed thin lining and ovaries suppressed.
- Added in oestrogen tablets (Progynova) at same time as injections.
- Felt absolutely exhausted, dropped workouts.
- A few good days and managed to do a bit more walking.
- Started drinking pomegranate juice every day.

That brings us to today.  Week 4 started yesterday so I'm continuing on the Suprecur and Progynova.  I'm feeling pretty rubbish.  The oestrogen seems to have triggered my IBS, I have to dash to the toilet very soon after eating and have had some pretty nasty stomach cramps.  My appetite has absolutely disappeared and I'm having to force myself to eat, also feeling nauseous.  The headaches have settled but I am generally knackered.  I'm suffering with insomnia which could be a side effect or could just be my brain overthinking everything (as usual) but not being able to drink caffeine is seriously hindering my ability to function and Oscar's behaviour has been very challenging this week to say the least - it's like he knows we are trying to have another one and is proving that he's more than enough to handle!  I'm trying to listen to my body and rest where I can but it's a challenge when that body won't let me sleep. I did email my nurse about the side effects but she's on leave until 2 September (my next scan is 1 September).  I also rang the clinic and left a message but nobody rang me back and I don't have the mental energy to ring again.

So there you have it... we shall see what happens in the next week.

First Family Holiday

 In January this year I had the bright idea of booking a family holiday for Ant's 30th birthday.  I spoke to our best family friends and asked if they would like to join us to make it even more special and that evening my friend snuck round while Ant was working so that we could book something.  We booked four days away in the Lake District and I somehow managed to keep it a complete secret.  However, then lockdown happened.  There were a lot of issues around whether places would be open and then, when they announced they would be, whether we would be able to travel with another family.  In the end the announcement about travelling with others was due to be made a few days after we had to pay the remainder of our holiday so we decided to cancel it.  Obviously then they announced that we could travel with one other family so I frantically got onto the phone with my friend and we rebooked a holiday to Weston-upon-Trent which is only about a 20 minute drive from us.  However, we didn't realise at the time that we were meant to maintain social distancing (only finding our half an hour later).  Eventually I told Ant the same day and we decided we could manage it as we knew our friends had both been working from home and adhering to all the social distancing guidelines and they were happy to go too.  

The day arrived and Ant's brother came over to look after the cats.  Naturally Oscar decided not to nap so we were running round like crazy people trying to get ready but we got there and we arrived at the lodges at 4 pm, check-in time.  When we got there we couldn't find anyone to check us in.  The reception was empty and when I tried to call they just kept hanging up.  I rang Hoseasons who said they may have other numbers and they would investigate for us.  By this time it was 4:45 pm and as I hung up I immediately got a call from another person at Hoseasons who apologised for it being late in the day but said that the lodge we had booked had been sold during lockdown and nobody had informed them - my guess is when I kept ringing them they contact Hoseasons!  They suggested they could either give us a refund or look for somewhere else nearby.  Amy said there was a lovely one in Matlock and it turned out that was the only place they could put us - however they did refund us some money as, although this lodge was more expensive, it didn't have a hot tub which was one of the selling points.  Eventually we arrived at Matlock just before 6 pm and there was a reception with staff wearing uniforms and everything.  We ended up in a lovely lodge, much bigger and newer than the one we had originally booked and the site was MUCH nicer (we had looked at the original one and it looked really rundown with no sort of local area to explore).  Turns out we got a great deal!

That night it took a little while to get both kids settled (mostly Oscar) but we had pizza, got ourselves set up and, as it was Ant's birthday, he chose the entertainment which was a card game called Starflux or something.  It was a bit naff to be honest! 

The next day we had already booked to go to Conkers, which we should have been staying near, so we had an early start travelling there but we had a lovely day out.  Oscar got to play on the park and we walked around some great outdoor areas with ponds, bridges, a fairy tower and all sorts.  On the way back I nipped to Aldi to pick up some bits and we had lasagna and garlic bread for tea followed by a film (Demonic Toys) as my choice of entertainment as it was my birthday. 

Wednesday was rainy so we stayed on site but had a good explore around the woods and surrounding areas.  There were SO many paths and trails with a Trim Trak, a little scavenger hunt for kids including some large wooden games, a carved drumkit and a bug hotel, wildlife, woods and cycle paths.  There was also a gym and soft play centre on site but both were closed due to COVID.  That evening we had steak pie and chips (oven ones) and Sam chose the entertainment so we played on the Nintendo Switch (Overcooked).  I haven't laughed so hard in a LONG time.

On the Thursday we went to Matlock Bath Aquarium in the morning and then went for a little wander before spending the afternoon exploring the site a little more.  The evening involved fish and chips (when in Rome and all that) and Amy's choice of game - Throw Throw Burrito (which was interesting to say the least).

On Friday we basically got up, packed up and went home.  The house was a mess when we got back but that was to be expected.

That's the rundown of what we did but what made it so amazing was how much Oscar LOVED it.  He's been asking to go on holiday again ever since and it was well over a month ago.  We were keen to stay local as we thought he might be unsettled and struggle to adapt but he was perfect.  He slept pretty well, he wasn't asleep until 8:30 most nights and 9:30 on the first night but he slept pretty well on a mattress on the floor in between our twin beds.  When he woke I got in his bed with him and he slept until around 6, although the first morning was a 4:30 wake up!  He didn't really eat much but that wasn't a major issue - he lost a little weight but he has put it back on now. 

He loved the days out and spent most of the time in the lodge playing with water beads.  He was also pretty good with baby Ezra who was 7.5 months and learning to crawl at the time.  His favourite bit was taking the recycling to the bins every day - he still asks to do it now.  I genuinely can't believe how well it went and we have decided that, if the IVF cycle fails, we will book another short break for October time - our friends have also said they would be up for it again so at least we have something to look forward to if it fails.

We had the best time with so much food, drink, alcoholic gummies, good company, games, walking, laughing and just a wonderful experienced for Oscar's first holiday.

2.5 years old!

Somehow my baby is a whole 2.5 years old today - tomorrow he will officially be closer to 3 than 2!  We are in coronavirus lockdown so the last few weeks have been interesting to say the least.  We weighed him on our scales a few weeks ago and he was about 12.4 kg so he's following his centiles nicely.  He's still in 18-24 month clothes (and some of them are still big).  His 4.5 size shoes have finally got too small - he's had them since September and typically grows out of them in lockdown!  Fortunately he loves his wellies and they're a 5 so plenty of room and I got him some cheap shoes from ASDA the other day in a 5 to keep us going until I can get his feet measured properly.  

Development

His development has been absolutely crazy in the last few months and he is developing such a great little personality.  I really wish I could document every little moment and anecdote!

Speech
His speech has definitely caught up to average, if not a bit above, now!  You can have proper conversations with him, he speaks in full sentences, asks questions and generally has a word for everything.  He remembers phrases from books and TV and can request specific stories or episodes of things.  He knows all his colours and can count to 12.  He has recently taken an interest in a phonics song they have sent from nursery (only A to E) and has been practising the sounds and singing the songs.  He can generally articulate his wants, needs and some of his feelings.  He's incredibly polite and always says "please" and has just started saying "sorry" umprompted when he's done something he shouldn't.  He recently started enjoying Jack and the Beanstalk but couldn't catch what the giant was saying so was stomping around shouting "three, four, five, six" which had us in hysterics - he's got it now though.  He's also randomly taking to saying "you most welcome" and doing a little bow whenever I thank him for something which is super cute.  His little voice is just beautiful and I could listen to it all day.  His favourite thing at the moment is asking "what's that mummy" and "what's that noise mummy" to every single thing - it's exhausting but I love his curiosity.

Gross Motor
He is finally starting to run - the last few days he's insisted we all run together on our little walks which has been cute.  We managed a kilometre in 15 minutes so not bad for his little legs!  He can now jump with both feet and is managing to easily get up steps/pavements.  He used his balance bike properly for the first time today just walking around with it so hopefully that'll help with his skills.  He can catch a sticky ball on a pad but can't quite catch an actual ball yet.  Climbing isn't his strong suit but it's mostly a lack of interest.

Fine Motor
He's starting to be able to use a knife and fork but prefers to use his fingers so doesn't get as much practise as he could do with.  He isn't really interested in drawing/colouring so it's hard to tell where he's at with that.  He can thread tiny beads on to matchsticks and has learned to use tongs with one hand to pick up pom poms and buttons - one of his current favourite activities.   He can use scissors but needs to use two hands and loves using Ant's pliers to take Mega Bloks apart.  He's still quite ambidextrous but he is starting to favour his right hand for more challenging tasks.  He's been competent with a dustpan and brush for quite some time.

Self-Care
We are working on this one - some days he's very cooperative and others he just doesn't want to participate.  He is now fully potty trained unless he's really distracted and can get his pants and trousers down by himself and take himself off without supervision.  He does have a bad habit of tipping the wee on the floor afterwards though!  He can just about get his clothes back up again but mostly doesn't want to and honestly getting him to even keep trousers and pants on has been a real battle.  He tidies up really well and knows where to put things in their place.  

Social/Emotional
It's hard to tell where he's at with this area at the moment as we have been in lockdown for almost six weeks now so he has seen nobody other than myself and Ant.  It took him a few days to settle into it but he's loving it now.  It has been difficult with my working hours changing a lot but he's taken it mostly in his stride and his behaviour has been generally less challenging.  I'm almost beginning to wonder whether he is actually autistic now but I think that's just because he's in his comfort zone continuously.  We've had a few video chats and he's happy to see Nana and Papa mostly and always asks if it is them when the phone rings but he's not like most children his age are at the moment - missing their loved ones and wanting to go and hug them etc.  He's not once asked to see anyone.  Weirdly enough, I saw something today that said people have realised material things aren't important, they aren't missing those but are missing friends and family.  Ant and I have repeatedly said that actually what we are missing most is going to places and doing things, the simplicity of being able to nip to the shop, not seeing people.  The only people we are close to live within our house and although we like to communicate with others, technology has allowed this fine, so maybe he's just like us.  Oscar has suddenly got quite cuddly though which is nice and likes to snuggle at bedtime too.

His pretend play seems to have re-emerged a bit after a couple of months with very little - I bought him a chewy tube the other day as we would like to get rid of his dummy soon and I thought it might help his oral sensory processing.  He absolutely didn't want to chew on it but he did use it as a hammer, a rake and then pretended to be a doctor taking my temperature with it, telling me I was hot and then going to fetch me a plaster.

Health
He's done really well with dairy and, when we couldn't get almond milk because of the panic buyers, he had regular milk on his cereal with no issues.  He split his lip falling onto Ant's plyo box a couple of weeks ago which was his first proper injury - he's only ever even had scraped knees once before!  Otherwise his health is pretty stable right now.

Eating
Eating improved a bit and he even tried a few vegetables but then it went downhill again.  Currently we are in a bit of a middle phase - his safe foods change regularly but he will now eat some fruit (raisins and apples, although the apple only when it's mine).  He generally loves rice (only from a packet), scones, meatballs, popcorn chicken, ketchup, cereal (Weetabix/Shreddies), garlic bread, crackers and bread/toast but mostly just with Nutella on!  We noticed when we started potty training how little he drinks so we've been working hard on that.  We've had to start giving him really dilute squash and supplementing a bit with ice pops/ice cubes, which he loves crunching even though it hurts my teeth just watching him.  He has started being more open to trying foods and did eat raspberries (which he called rice babies) for the first time this week, but only frozen.

Sleep
The sleeping through did not last at all!  After a few weeks we were back to regular wake ups and me sleeping on his floor.  We ended up taking the plunge and buying him a double mattress which takes up most of the floor space in his room but has been a godsend.  He loves the space and it means that I don't end up crippled when I'm sleeping with him.  We did recently have a few nights again where he slept through but now he's generally waking between 9:30 and 11:30 and I just go and get in with him.  We had some horrifically early wake-ups, around 5 am.  Nowadays he tends to wake around 5:30 but I can usually get him to stay in bed until somewhere between 6 and 6:30, it means I'm still awake but then Ant will get up with him and let me get a bit more sleep if I'm not working.  We've capped his nap at 2 pm as bedtimes were getting later and now he generally falls asleep between 7:30 and 7:45.  He tends to fall asleep at naptime between 12:30 and 1 so he still has 1-1.5 hours most days.  Today he napped in his pushchair without his dummy for the first time and we've started a reward chart - we tried it the other day and he lost his mind (as we normally use the dummy to bribe him into the pushchair) but this time we distracted him with an ice pop and he took a while to fall asleep but he was happy enough.  We did have one day this week where he didn't nap at all, for the first time, but it seemed to be a one-off.

Nursery
We don't really have an update from nursery as he hasn't been there for about six weeks.  We did try to do a Zoom session for singing time with them but there were so many people online it was just loud and a bit of a mess and Oscar just wanted it turning off.  I'm really dreading trying to get him back into nursery once lockdown is over but at least with Ant being self employed we can ease him in gently hopefully.

Likes and Dislikes

He has a "special stone" which is a sparkly rock he dug up in the garden and goes to bed with him, along with Hooty the owl.  He currently loves his big Hide and Seek Pig floor jigsaw and his train that spits dominoes out the back.  His favourites change every couple of weeks and he still loves blocks, balls and playing with water. He is happiest when he's outside.  On the garden he loves digging (Ant bought him his own proper rake and spade and he's obsessed), being in the paddling pool and kicking his football around with us (his aim is pretty good).  He loves getting out for walks and exploring, pushing his toy pushchair around and spotting things (magpies, ducks, vehicles and, most recently, poop).  He is obsessed with his tiger wellies still and won't wear any other shoes - even in hot weather - although he has recently started tolerating grass in bare feet!  His favourite TV shows at the moment are Paw Patrol, Hello Ninja and Daniel Tiger.  His favourite books vary but he loves fairy tales (Jack & the Beanstalk, Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood etc) and still is a big fan of Julia Donaldson books.  He still loves chores - sweeping, hoovering, cutting the grass etc - and has recently found a love of baking.  He is always fiddling with his penis and seems to enjoy kicking things at the moment but you win some, you lose some.

He isn't keen on having his face wiped and can get quite upset if we are trying to have a conversation that doesn't involve him.  

Autism?
Generally things have settled down somewhat but I'm assuming that's because we are in lockdown and things are pretty predictable.  He isn't having to go to any unusual places or spend time around people.  We have had a letter to say that he will be assessed by a Community Paediatrician and a Speech & Language therapist (not because of his speech but to assess social interaction etc for autism) but obviously there is already a long waiting list and it isn't moving at all because of lockdown.  I will be interested to see how he copes with the transition back to nursery etc - he coped with the transition to lockdown pretty well but that's because he's stuck in his comfort zone.  He even didn't go out for walks for about five weeks because we got out all the garden toys from last summer so the novelty kept him happy in the garden.