Thursday, 8 July 2021

Egg Collection!

 I've not got round to posting in the last week so I'm going to try and do a few updates in quick succession.  First up, egg collection day!

On Wednesday night (30 June) I stayed up until 10 PM to do the trigger shot and then it was all systems go.  The time went quite quickly as I was at work on Thursday and we were out of the house on Friday morning by 7 AM.  Ant's stepmum came over at 6:45 to look after Oscar and take him to nursery and we were hopeful that we would be back to pick him up at 1 as my egg collection was set for 10 AM.

We had a steady drive to Sheffield, parked up and then headed off to Jessop Wing.  We arrived about 8:20 and were taken through pretty much straight away by a lovely young nurse called Alex.  She went through the plan with me, popped a cannula in and then sent Ant off to do his sample.  Somewhere along the way an Embryologist came to discuss things with us too.  I sat and read for a while until Ant returned and then we just chilled out until 9:30 when Alex came back to give me some IV paracetamol.  It took about 15 minutes to go through so when she came back to turn it off she said they would be coming to collect me in another 15 minutes.  Just after this the Consultant came in to introduce himself and explain the procedure, assuring me it would only take 10-15 minutes.  I started to get a bit nervous but got myself ready, nipped for a wee and waited.  However, there was a bit of a delay and they didn't actually come for me until almost 10:20!

Once in theatre there was me, Alex, another nurse called Emma and the Consultant.  They got 50 mg of fentanyl in straight away to relax me, along with some ondansetron to prevent nausea/sickness and got me started on some gas and air.  I felt completely fine so I wasn't convinced the fentanyl was doing anything but I barely felt the local anaesthetic going in at all.  He got started quite quickly and I ditched the gas and air and just watched what was happening on the screen.  We talked about Oscar and McDonald's and general stuff and I really didn't feel any discomfort until he was almost done with the first ovary and then fentanyl started to wear off.  I used the gas and air and they topped me up with another 25 mg of fentanyl before proceeding to the second ovary.  This one was a bit more uncomfortable and towards the end a couple of the eggs being collected was really quite painful and I was relying heavily on the gas and air.  So that I wasn't too uncomfortable afterwards they popped in another 25 mg of fentanyl and then it was all over!  I couldn't believe how well I felt and that I didn't feel woozy or anything.  Emma and the Consultant were both really good at noticing when I was starting to get more pain and adjusting the medication/procedure accordingly.

They wheeled me back through to the room around 10:40 and I immediately sat up and had a drink and was delighted to tell Ant that they had got SIXTEEN eggs, even more than last time!  They popped a heat pad on for me, got Ant a coffee and checked I was okay then left us to it.  They said that once I felt up to it I could start moving around.  Tracy, our usual IVF nurse, popped in to see me and we discussed how different the process was to Guy's Hospital (and how much better).  She was really pleased with the amount of eggs and it was lovely of her to take some time out to check in with me.  We spent the next hour chatting and eating snacks and I gradually got myself dressed, had a wee and packed my bag ready to get home.  Around 11:45 they did all my final checks, removed the cannula and sent us on our way with some information about OHSS because I'd had so many eggs.

We got back just in time to pick Oscar up at 1:15 (okay, so a little late but nursery were aware and happy to keep hold of him).  He wasn't thrilled about me being somewhat incapacitated but I wasn't in too much pain so I just chilled on the sofa with him.  My friend, Amy, came over for the evening while Ant was at work.  She brought McDonald's, entertained Oscar and even helped me put him to bed.

So that was it - egg collection complete!  It was so much less dreadful than I was expecting and I was definitely proud of myself for how well I handled it.  Then it was just a case of nervously waiting for updates on our eggs.

Tuesday, 29 June 2021

Almost There!

 As planned, I had my scan on Monday (day 10 of stims) at 8 AM.  Parking at Jessops can be hard work so I left the house at 6 to get there for just after 7 and then chilled out in the car reading my book and eating my breakfast.  I was the first one in for a scan and was taken in shortly after 8 AM.  I think I counted 10 follices (4 on one side, 6 on the other) though I can't be sure and I didn't ask.  However, they were all measuring around 14 mm which meant they weren't quite ready yet and I needed a couple more days on the medication.  I ended up hanging around the pharmacy for over half an hour but managed to make it to work by 10 AM which isn't too bad, all things considered.  They also seemed to think the bright spot on my uterus was less bright so hopefully not a polyp and just a slightly thicker bit of lining.

My next scan is tomorrow morning (day 12 of stims) at 8 AM but I don't work Wednesdays so it's a lot more relaxed.  Hopefully they will say I'm ready and then egg collection will go ahead on Friday.  They did suggest egg collection may be Saturday but I'm hoping for Friday as it is much easier for childcare.  Because of the drugs they're planning to give me, I'm likely to need help for the first 24 hours or so which means Friday evening and Saturday morning I'll need assistance while Ant is at work, although if the procedure happens on Saturday morning Ant will be around to help me out all weekend.  However, we essentially have no childcare as Ant's parents are working nights on Friday/Saturday and our friends, who had offered to help out, are away this weekend for his 30th birthday and their own IVF scan on Monday.  At least if the procedure happens on Friday, Oscar will be at nursery in the morning and we can just muddle through - if needs be Ant can cancel clients or I will just have to survive on my own.  I do have a couple of other friends I could maybe call on to help me out with Oscar whereas I don't really have anyone else who could look after Oscar without me there, certainly nobody that he knows well enough.  My dad is my backup but I'm hoping it won't come to that as it's a long drive for him!

I'll try and update again tomorrow when I know what is happening!

Tuesday, 22 June 2021

Stim Cycle #2

Our second IVF cycle is officially underway but we've had such a busy few days that I haven't had time to write about it.

On Saturday we went to Sheffield for our appointment to get things started.  We dropped Oscar off with Ant's dad and stepmum around 8 and headed off for our 9:30 appointment.  We paid, signed the consent forms and both had our bloods done then we had almost an hour wait before my scan.  It showed 7-8 follicles on one side and 5-6 on the other, which is around the same as last time and is a good number.  However, there was a bright spot on my endometrium which could potentially be a polyp.  It won't affect the egg collection part of the cycle but, if it is a polyp and is still there by the time I've had the egg collection, then it will have to be removed before we can go ahead with a transfer.  Only time will tell so I'm not worrying about it for now.  

Our appointment ran over the expected time so we only just made it back in time for Ant to go and have his second COVID vaccine (while I did my first Gonal-F injection in the car park, at a slightly increased dose of 175 iu this time) then we headed to pick Oscar up.  Technically I'm meant to be isolating but it was our nephew's 4th birthday party and we haven't seen that side of the family in almost 18 months so we decided, because it was outdoors, we would go and just keep our distance.  Oscar had a whale of a time and really enjoyed spending time with his cousin on the bouncy castle so we didn't leave until gone 19:30.  Needless to say Ant and I were both exhausted, especially from the social aspect, so we just had an early night. 

Sunday was Father's Day and we had bits and bobs to get done - I wanted to sneak in a last gym session before having to take it easy, we popped to drop presents off with Ant's dad (and the Hales' were there again so we stayed a little while) then had pizza for dinner which was yummy!

Yesterday I was at work all day and then shattered so went to bed for about 8 which brings us to today.  I've now done 4 injections and tomorrow I'll add in the Cetrotide too - this time they are all done together in a morning so no faffing about trying to get them 12 hours apart etc.  In terms of how I'm feeling I'm pretty tired and have been a bit crampy, but that could be the period itself.  The tiredness is no doubt in part due to a very busy weekend which involved a lot more socialising than we've done in the last 18 months or so but I do feel generally fatigued which could well be down to the medication.  My sciatica has also been playing up a bit for the last 48 hours however it seems a little better at the moment.

I have my monitoring scan on Monday which will be day 9 of the medication so we will see where we are at by then - I'm hoping to be good to go as that would mean egg collection on Wednesday which is a day I'm already off work anyway, but things never work out the convenient way so I won't hold my breath!

Sunday, 13 June 2021

IVF Round 2!

There is a LOT going on in our world right now but this is the most exciting/pressing matter so it's where I'm going to start!

On Saturday we are due to start our second full round of IVF so I'll go back and cover where we've been at recently.

We had a multidisciplinary meeting via video call with the genetics team, IVF Consultant and Tracy (our amazing nurse) to discuss the process and go through the differences between using their sole clinic rather than using them as a satellite clinic and travelling to London.  I'd already had blood tests and a scan done so they essentially just made the referrals to the company that run the genetic tests and then we had to go through a counselling appointment with them.  They already had all our DNA stored from the last time so they used that to create our probe and we were essentially just waiting to hear what happened next.  In the meantime, Ant had his semen analysis checked and all was fine there. 

A few weeks ago we received a call from Tracy to say that the genetic side of things was all complete and that we could start as soon as we were ready effectively.  She arranged an appointment to go through things with us, again via video call, on 3 June.  In the couple of weeks before that weekend we got our finances in order and we are in a position to go ahead!  We are borrowing a small amount from grandparents as we won't have to pay interest to pay that back and we have also received a small grant from a wonderful charity.  The rest we have managed to save ourselves! 

At the appointment on 3 June we went through the consent forms, sorted the starting dates and prospective dates for the procedure and Tracy also dropped a bit of a bombshell on me in that they don't use sedation for the egg collection - NOT thrilled about that bit, or the Fentanyl that they use instead!

However, we are set to go to the clinic on Saturday 19 June at 9:30 AM to get the ball rolling.  I'll take my last pill tomorrow (Mon 14 Jun) and hopefully be on a period by Saturday.  Whilst there I'll have a scan and blood tests then we will have to sign our consent forms and collect the prescription for my medication.  Hopefully we will find out relatively quickly that I'm good to start and I'll have to do my first injection straight away.  From there it is all very much the same as last time - the medication is the same but they're using a higher dose as I was pretty slow to respond last time so hopefully I might be on the stims a little less than 17 odd days this time!  I'm so keen to get started but we know it is still a long road from here, especially as I have to isolate around the procedures and we have a wedding to go to in August so we can't start our transfer cycle until after that.  It's much harder to work around things when you have to isolate for 5-6 weeks as you can't just take meds with you and crack on with it, avoiding any procedures.  You have to totally wait until the event is over before you can start.

However, we have an appointment booked on 26 July to discuss our embryo results (a luxury we weren't offered last time) and plan our next steps so at least we can get an idea of what is going to happen and when.

Watch this space!

Saturday, 8 May 2021

3.5 Years Old!

I am absolutely in denial about the fact that my little squishy baby is now closer to being 4 than 3!  Size wise though he is definitely more like a 3 year old.  When I weighed him recently he was 14.5 kg which is a bigger increase in six months than in the year or two previous!  When we last measured him he was around 93 cm but I have a feeling he's grown again since then as his 2-3 year clothes (which go up to 98 cm) seem to fit him nowadays rather than drowning him!  He had new shoes a couple of weeks about and is now a 6.5.  However, they rubbed his toes so now he wont' wear them and is still seemingly comfortable in his size 6 wellies.


Development

His development is insane lately - it's increasingly obvious that he's no longer a baby or a toddler and is a fully fledged "kid".

Speech
Well he has PLENTY to say.  He talks continuously and says "mummy" at least a million times a day.  He remembers facts like a sponge, asks questions about everything he sees, wants to understand everything or comment on everything and still has his lovely moments where he sounds far beyond his years.  The other day he started a sentence with "according to my plan..."!  He can get stuck in repetition loops of certain words and he often makes nonsensical noises but generally his communication is excellent.  When he gets tired or overwhelmed he can just grunt, whine and point which is always a challenge but it is happening a little less often lately.  Other people can have a hard time working out what he is saying, mostly because he is very softly spoken (or yelling, there's no in between).  We often have a hard time because he talks very fast when he's excited and often talks in silly voices, shouts or mumbles.  However, generally we get to where we need to be.

Gross Motor
He can run confidently now although he has been really clumsy for the last few days so I'm wondering if he's going through a growth spurt.  He's climbing much more now and quite competent although balance isn't his strong point and he had a nasty fall from a climbing frame last week on a playdate but miraculously was fine other than a bruise or two!  We recently bought him a cheap secondhand trike and he got the hang of it really quickly - he can pedal and steer although his concentration usually lapses and he ends up veering towards the road or some other hazard.  He's confident on the stairs now and we only really have the stairgate up because his bedroom is directly next to the stairs and we don't want him to wander out in a sleepy state and fall.

Fine Motor
His fine motor skills have really come on rapidly - largely since we adopted a terrible parenting attitude and allowed him to play Lego Marvel on the Xbox.  it has done wonders for many skills including his memory, problem solving and bimanual fine motor skills.  He can competently control the characters, jump, fight and aim and shoot weapons.  Essentially he plays it by himself with the occasional input from us if it gets hard.  He's getting better with mark making and will now try and trace shapes or letters, although he doesn't yet have a proper pencil grip.  We did a bit of touching up on the walls recently with small paintbrushes and he did a lovely job with that, tidying the edges above the skirting board.  He can handle small jigsaw pieces too.  I learned today that he can also peel a banana.

Self-Care
He's really improved in this area too.  A couple of weeks ago he randomly decided he no longer wanted to wear pull-ups at night so we gave it a go and he's had no accidents so far, touch wood.  It wasn't something we had even really considered but we weren't going to deny him the opportunity to give it a go.  He can essentially dress and undress himself now - he struggles to get a t-shirt off as he can't pull the sleeves and he can't quite get a t-shirt or jumper on over his head, usually because the head holes are really tight for his slightly large head.  He can feed himself although randomly started asking us to spoon feed him lately.  He's brilliant at cleaning and tidying - today we did some baking and when we had finished he put the wrappers in the bin and asked for a cloth to wipe his table.  Thanks to the pandemic he's got very good at washing his hands - he doesn't like wiping his face and that is a daily battle.  He's suddenly become quite resistant to tooth-brushing - he used to be fine but is refusing in the evenings lately, although is happy enough in a morning so that's something at least.

Social/Emotional
In a lot of ways things have really improved in this area.  He has friends at nursery - Julian, Alfie and Eashon are the most commonly mentioned.  I'm not 100% sure how he interacts with them but he likes to say bye to them before he leaves and he talks about them a lot at home.  However, in other circumstances, he is utterly disinterested.  We've been on a few playdates recently with my friend and her little boy, Arthur.  Arthur is very excited to see Oscar and talks to him constantly whereas Oscar largely doesn't acknowledge him and prefers to talks to me or occasionally Jen. He's very social with adults most of the time but not so much little kids.  I'm looking forward to seeing how he is with James and Bella at the wedding.  He is also quite good with Ezra nowadays in terms of sharing, albeit rather hit and miss.

Emotionally he is learning to recognise his emotions and be able to put words to them sometimes which is a great start.  He generally is quite miserable at the moment but we finally got his Paediatrician appointment through for next week so I'm hopefuly we will be able to generally improve his well-being.

Health
He takes cetirizine regularly now before bed which seemse to help with his snuffliness.  He's regularly itchy which it also helps with.  His skin is very dry but he won't tolerate moisturiser most of the time so there's not much I can do about that.  He has a bit of a wet cough at the moment after eating/drinking and when he first lies down at night but nothing severe so I'm just keeping an eye on it. 

Eating
His eating is improving slowly although his behaviours around food are becoming more challenging.  At nursery now he eats pretty much anything except for vegetables.  Recently he has eaten curry, sweet and sour chicken, shepherd's pie and all sorts although he does generally tell me he didn't like it!  At home we don't have that kind of success but he is slowly starting to accept more foods that he previously liked, such as fish fingers and bananas.  However, he has dropped off some of the foods like chicken and mashed potato, now only rarely eating these.  Usually he picks his favourite thing on his plate and just fills up on that.  The behaviour we are struggling with is around "treats" although we don't treat them as such.  We have tried various different approaches but he can get very upset if he isn't allowed something he wants e.g. a biscuit whether that be because he's already had a couple, because it's almost a mealtime or because we don't have any.  It almost makes me want to stop giving him nice things because he becomes obsessed and asks for them constantly.  We are hoping for some answers when we see the Paediatrician!

Sleep
Sleep is generally pretty good nowadays (by our standards).  Our good nights are still what most people would consider bad but we are getting by just fine.  He hasn't napped for a while now and generally goes to sleep around 7, although if he's really tired it can be closer to 6:30, especially if he asks to go to bed.  Sometimes he sleeps through, other nights he wakes up but I just get in bed with him and then he settles back down.  He recently stopped using pull-ups at night, his choice which came out of the blue, but it hasn't caused any major issues and we have only had one wet bed in around three weeks so that's pretty pleasing.  We had a couple of nights where he was upset and wanted to get into our bed but we held firm and eventually he snuggled up with me in his own bed and went to sleep - each night the resistance got less and less.  He wakes most days between 6 and 6:30 although sometimes it can be as early as 5 or as late as 7.  Generally though we can keep him in bed until 7 when we want to by letting him watch Netflix on our phones although, as a rule, I don't allow that before around 5:45 in the hope he will go back to sleep. We went for a long walk around Foremark Reservoir (where he carried a backpack full of rocks most of the way) a couple of weeks ago and the following day he slept until 7:45 and didn't get out of bed until 8:30 - that was lovely!  Occasionally on a Saturday morning he will have an hour or so nap to catch up from the exhaustion of the week and he sometimes catnaps in the car if we've been out but it's a rarity these days.

Nursery
He is getting on really well there.  He goes in happily and they have moved him into the pre-school group with the older children (4-5) as he gets on better with them than his peers.  He has a best friend called Julian and my understanding is that they basically just playfight but it is so nice to hear him chatting about another child!  His Key Worker, Ella, is brilliant - although she is leaving next week - and has really kept us up to date with things during the pandemic where we haven't been able to go and see him in the nursery setting.  They really don't have any concerns with him and are thrilled how well his eating has come along there.  We do keep having random periods where he gets upset about going to nursery the following day but then in the morning he's not fussed.  He does five mornings now which gives me a bit of extra time in the week to myself (although I've mostly been doing overtime at work).  He finds it a challenge and is exhausted by Friday but it keeps him bus and stops him being bored at home which is helpful.  

Likes and Dislikes

He is a very different child these days in a lot of ways - he really loves his snuggly toys now, especially Shadow shark and Rex (who goes pretty much everywhere).  He also loves soft blankets and cushions and recently started going to sleep with the quilt completely over his head - weird for a child who used to hate a blanket at all and actually rarely actually keepts his quilt on at night.  Book wise he has started enjoying some chapter books and we recently read Pinocchio (a big Disney version of mine from when I was a child).  He has a fairtytale book which he loves choosing stories from too.  His current favourite TV is Miniforce Super Dino Power (which is naff) although he has had recent loves for Rainbow Ruby, Super Why (which got him interested in letters finally), Starbeam and True and the Rainbow Kingdom (which I really enjoy).  He loves Pokemon too - watching it, looking at his seek and find book or playing Pokemon Go on my phone.  He enjoys all things superhero and likes Lego Marvel on the Xbox.  

His current obsession is stones - he collects them and then piles or lines them up, cleans them and just generally carries them around (he's gone to bed with three tonight). He's also got really into jigsaws and can now do a 60 piece jigsaw with minimal (or no) help.  He loves nature and is always asking what plants and flowers he can see so we've planed some wildflower seeds in the garden.  He likes helping around the house and baking so I'm going to try and get him into cooking a little more soon in the hope of improving his diet.

His favourite people are Sam, Amy and Ezra - whenever we ask if he wants to see someone they are the ones he suggests.  He also really loves his Nana and Papa (Lee and Jenny).  He loves rough play, bouncing around, wrestling and crashing - presumably for the sensory input.

He very strongly dislikes me having any fun!  I jest, but he gets very annoyed if I sing or dance or if Ant and I try to have any sort of meaningful conversation within earshot.  He doesn't like the wind or rain so getting him outside for the last few months has been a challenge and even now it is May it is really rubbish weather!  He has lots of sensory things that he doesn't like but generally he enjoys most things if presented to him in the right way.

Thursday, 5 November 2020

3 Years Old!

Oh my goodness, we have a 3 year old!  He has had a lovely birthday, minus a horrible incident outside Smyths where he fell down the kerb, bumped his head and I managed to stand on his hand.  Low-key celebrations suits him and being stuck at home with us all day has played to his strengths.  We went to Smyths to spend his money from Grampy, had McDonald's for lunch, we ate cake, he opened presents, Nana and Papa came to drop off gifts and stood on the garden to talk to him for a bit and that's it.  He has been struggling lately with seeming bored, miserable and just generally not wanting to do anything so we figured new toys might help and today he was a dream.  He has been the happiest we've seen him in ages, not overwhelmed and the TV barely made it on at all!

So, what does 3 look like for Oscar?  Well, we get varying readings because he can't stand still on the scales but he's somewhere between 12.6 and 12.9 kg and we bought a chart for his wall which measures him at 91 cm.  We've just started to put him in 2-3 year clothes but he will mostly have to stay in 18-24 month trousers as the 2-3 year ones are way too long.  He's in a 5.5 shoe from when we last had his feet measured in July, his wellies are a 6 and seem big (but they don't do half sizes).  We are about to enter another lockdown so won't be able to get his feet measured again for a while but he mostly wears his wellies anyway and it is the season for it.


Development

Development has come on a lot in some areas, a little less in others but every day with him is something new and I honestly wish I could capture every little thing he says and does.

Speech
Well he doesn't shut up... honestly I think his language skills have jumped well above average now.  He has a comment on everything, has a question about everything and loves to talk to anyone and everything.  He often talks beyond his years - yesterday I explained about birthday presents and that people bought them for him and he responded with "oh that's very nice of them".  He has us in hysterics all the time and, whilst we don't understand every word, we get most of what he's saying with context.  Just today he has started expressing that he is sad - he'd had a haircut for the first time and was overwhelmed, when we got home he was very disregulated and then threw a load of stuff off the table, saying "I knocked it off because I am sad".  He had a video call with SALT today for an evaluation and she was definitely happy with his actual language and speech, which I expected.  Social interaction will be the interesting one to discuss when she has a video call with him at nursery on Friday.  He does a lot of "scripting" where he randomly quotes books or TV shows completely out of context and he can have quite a bit of repetition in that context but generally his speech is pretty good.

Gross Motor
He can run now and runs everywhere although he does still fall quite a lot.  He did jump with both feet for a while but now jumps almost one at a time, especially when he's excited.  He does this little skipping type jump on the spot which is adorable but also makes him look like a little goblin.  He's really never got the hang of the balance bike and isn't interested in it but apparently he does like a trike at nursery, although I don't know how he propels it.  He is starting to get better at climbing according to nursery and definitely climbs more around the house, getting on to kitchen chairs and the like, but we haven't been able to take him to anywhere like soft play for a good while so it's hard to tell.

Fine Motor
He is quite competent in this regard but also really reluctant.  He doesn't enjoy mark making as he can't make it look like whatever he is trying to achieve so he gets frustrated.  He can put puzzle pieces together but it often takes him a while and he can use a knife and fork but generally eats with his hands.  I've noticed park of the issue is that he tends to keep a "special object" (which can be whatever he is attached to on a given day) and he prefers to hold that in his right hand.  We are pretty sure he is right-handed and he is definitely more competent with his right but because of his insistence on holding an object he ends up using his left hand which he isn't so skilled with and then gets frustrated that he can't do things.  If we suggest he switches the object to the other hand he refuses.  We are working on all of these skills though and he is improving slowly but surely.

Self-Care
Again, he can but whether he will is a different matter.  He is capable of getting his pants and trousers on by himself and is starting to be able to do his socks.  He can do his jacket but has only done it once and refused ever since.  He can do his shoes and get them fastened without help now though which is great.  He is getting quite good at cleaning his hands and face although is more reluctant with his face.  He's usually pretty good with having his teeth brushed too.  He's reasonably good at tidying up after himself and loves helping me to clean, although usually takes over, steals my cleaning supplies and refuses to let me finish.  He's fully potty trained and only has the very occasional accident if he's really distracted by something.  He can generally hold it if we aren't near a toilet too.

Social/Emotional
This is a difficult subject at the moment.  He definitely has difficulties with social/emotional development and the Community Paediatrician is unsure whether that's a delay in that area or related to autism but he is being assessed for both.  He really struggles with his emotions and controlling his impulses.  We think he "masks" because he is impeccably behaved at nursery and then really struggles when he's back at home.  Afternoons are the hardest for him, particularly as he's getting tired, and he can throw, hit, shout and struggle to cope with anything that isn't focused on him.  He gets upset at us having conversations or touching his things/not doing things his way.  He's much more affectionate nowadays than he used to be and loves a good cuddle.  He often asks to sit on my knee and recently he's been going to sleep with my jumper.  He's so sweet and can be incredibly caring, a very sensitive little soul and he's growing emotionally every day.

He still has very little pretend play; today the SALT asked if he could make food or a drink in his toy kitchen and he said he couldn't because he didn't have any real food or drinks.  He takes things very literally - yesterday I said he was like a cuddly teddy bear in his dressing gown and and his response was, "I are but it's just Oscar in a dressing gown".

Health
His health is okay although we do still wonder if he has allergies as he seems congested a lot of the time and we give him Piriton on occasion if he's had a few nights of waking up snotty.  We have wondered if he still has reflux or some sort of issue because he often seems to cough and splutter when he drinks.  I mentioned it to the SALT when we arranged the appointment and she has passed it on to the Eating & Drinking Team to see him.  His weight has been a bit up and down but he's grown in height and doesn't look underweight so we are just keeping an eye on it. 

Eating
Eating continues to go up and down.  When he started back at nursery in August he ate more there - fish fingers, pasta, cheese, beans, sausages, mashed potato and fruit. He hasn't really shown that interest at home except for a little mashed potato and nursery are still concerned that he doesn't eat much there although, as he only does mornings, it isn't really a huge issue.  He has become pretty obsessed with cheese which is costing us a fortunate but at least he's getting some protein and calcium in.  He still eats popcorn chicken, garlic bread, rice/cous cous and bread/toast and loves cereal.  Anything else is hit and miss other than chocolate biscuits/cake and he rarely touches fruits or vegetables, although he did go through a bit of a grape-loving phase for a couple of weeks. EDIT (5/11/20): Last night he ate chicken and mashed potato!

Sleep
The big news here is that we've dropped the nap in the last ten days and it seems to be going alright.  It's taken him a little while to adjust from early wake-ups since the clock change which fell on the first day we dropped his nap (poor planning on our part) but he's generally sleeping until at least 6 and then I pop something on my phone for him and try to snooze until about 7.  We did go through a phase where I rarely ended up in his bed, or at least not before 4-5 AM then he started waking earlier in the evenings and once I got him back to sleep it was hard to sneak away because he was in a lighter sleep, hence dropping the nap.  It has been hard work and he's struggling from about 3 PM until dinner time because he's exhausted but we will see how it goes over the next few weeks.  He's struggling with congestion so I'm waiting to speak to the GP tomorrow about a better, longer-acting antihistamine than Piriton so maybe his sleep will be more restful.

Nursery
He settled back into nursery after lockdown like a dream.  The first day he was so excited to go back he ran in without a second thought.  We had a couple of days where he was a bit upset after that but then he's been fine since and he's recently moving into the pre-school room where he's really thriving.  It definitely had an impact on his eating and has helped his social skills too, apparently he is starting to form friendships with a little boy called Ronnie and he keeps mentioning a girl called Edith.  We are hoping to increase him to five mornings from January as he should get 30 hours free.  It will increase our costs a little as we have to cover 30 hours in holidays instead of the 15 we pay now but it will be worth it for him to have that consistency.  We did have a brief parents evening via Zoom but Oscat wouldn't really let us chat.  Their only concern was his eating really and they said they were really happy with his his speech had come along.

Likes and Dislikes

He loves snuggling up with his Shadow shark in bed and sometimes my jumper.  He also sometimes cuddles his Rex dinosaur that my friends bought him for his first birthday.  He still loves books, currently Superworm, Highway Rat and his Peppa Pig anthology.  TV wise his favourite things are Messy Goes to Okido (which is really quite educational), Chico Bon Bon, Paw Patrol and Super Monsters at the moment.  He still mostly thrives on filling and emptying activities hence loving his new bin lorry and he loves playing in water, although baths are hit and miss.  Swimming isn't great at the moment but better than it was pre-lockdown and he actually got in the water for the first time without any coaxing.  He can just about swim with two short woggles but hates getting his face near the water so we are going to get him a goggle mask for when we go back in December.  He's loved exploring and collecting leaves and acorns over the past few months until the weather got rubbish and the nights got dark.  In the summer he loves blackberry picking and he's found a real love of baking (mostly just eating the goodies).  He still likes throwing and nowadays he often spins or jumps up and down when he's excited or overwhelmed.

He dislikes a lot of noise and really struggles with us talking to each other although we aren't sure if that's because he's not the focus of attention as he doesn't like us hugging either.  He hates it if you start singing and still isn't a huge fan of the car although he does tolerate it nowadays.  He doesn't like labels in his clothes or being told what to do in any capacity.  He hates coats and hats but does tolerate them if essential.  He knows what he likes and what he wants but there's not much he outright hates.

Autism?
We had our Community Paediatrician assessment over the phone as I detailed in a previous post and are in the middle of his SALT assessment.  We shall wait and see but I would expect her might not get a diagnosis as his issues aren't interfering with his daily life enough.

Sunday, 27 September 2020

A Resounding No!

 This time last year I had essentially the worst week of my life.  Oscar got a stomach bug, passed it on to Ant who ended up in hospital and then passed it on to me then I recovered for a day, got sick again, missed our first IVF appointment for the new cycle and in the midst of all that my mum had another episode, ending up being sectioned and my grandparents yelled at me for making it worse because I calmly told her that I wasn't happy that she had lied to me.  It was hell.  I scream-cried in my car for like 20 minutes while Oscar was napping (after a battle to get him to sleep).  


This week hasn't exactly been much better.  We found out that the IVF hadn't worked which didn't come as a huge surprise - the best of three clearly didn't swing in our favour.  Naturally I was upset but actually within a couple of hours I'd snapped out of it and we were planning our next steps.  We have a debrief appointment on 20 October to consolidate the cycle and decide where we go from here.  


Generally people have been great.  My friend, who came to London with me, came over on Thursday evening when I was feeling crappy and Oscar was being a challenge.  My work colleagues have been great and obviously Ant has been amazing.  Plenty of people have suggested that "we are lucky to have Oscar and at least we have him" and whilst they are well meaning it just makes me feel guilty for being sad that it didn't work.  Obviously I do feel that way but it doesn't mean I wouldn't like more and it doesn't help to be reminded of it.  However, today I told my mum and grandparents and I was gobsmacked by their reaction. 


My grandma essentially just said, "I told you she wouldn't tell us if they were doing it again", my mum basically said nothing and my grandad said that he was sorry a couple of times but that was it.  Not one of them asked if I was okay (physically or mentally).  I don't know if they didn't comprehend how much it cost us or what I'd physically been through over the last two months but even so you'd think they'd understand that I would be upset.  Honestly I'm furious, apparently 26 September is just the day I get let down by my grandparents.  Fortunately Ant wasn't there as he was working so at least he didn't have to experience it as I can't imagine how angry he would have been!