First Family Holiday

 In January this year I had the bright idea of booking a family holiday for Ant's 30th birthday.  I spoke to our best family friends and asked if they would like to join us to make it even more special and that evening my friend snuck round while Ant was working so that we could book something.  We booked four days away in the Lake District and I somehow managed to keep it a complete secret.  However, then lockdown happened.  There were a lot of issues around whether places would be open and then, when they announced they would be, whether we would be able to travel with another family.  In the end the announcement about travelling with others was due to be made a few days after we had to pay the remainder of our holiday so we decided to cancel it.  Obviously then they announced that we could travel with one other family so I frantically got onto the phone with my friend and we rebooked a holiday to Weston-upon-Trent which is only about a 20 minute drive from us.  However, we didn't realise at the time that we were meant to maintain social distancing (only finding our half an hour later).  Eventually I told Ant the same day and we decided we could manage it as we knew our friends had both been working from home and adhering to all the social distancing guidelines and they were happy to go too.  

The day arrived and Ant's brother came over to look after the cats.  Naturally Oscar decided not to nap so we were running round like crazy people trying to get ready but we got there and we arrived at the lodges at 4 pm, check-in time.  When we got there we couldn't find anyone to check us in.  The reception was empty and when I tried to call they just kept hanging up.  I rang Hoseasons who said they may have other numbers and they would investigate for us.  By this time it was 4:45 pm and as I hung up I immediately got a call from another person at Hoseasons who apologised for it being late in the day but said that the lodge we had booked had been sold during lockdown and nobody had informed them - my guess is when I kept ringing them they contact Hoseasons!  They suggested they could either give us a refund or look for somewhere else nearby.  Amy said there was a lovely one in Matlock and it turned out that was the only place they could put us - however they did refund us some money as, although this lodge was more expensive, it didn't have a hot tub which was one of the selling points.  Eventually we arrived at Matlock just before 6 pm and there was a reception with staff wearing uniforms and everything.  We ended up in a lovely lodge, much bigger and newer than the one we had originally booked and the site was MUCH nicer (we had looked at the original one and it looked really rundown with no sort of local area to explore).  Turns out we got a great deal!

That night it took a little while to get both kids settled (mostly Oscar) but we had pizza, got ourselves set up and, as it was Ant's birthday, he chose the entertainment which was a card game called Starflux or something.  It was a bit naff to be honest! 

The next day we had already booked to go to Conkers, which we should have been staying near, so we had an early start travelling there but we had a lovely day out.  Oscar got to play on the park and we walked around some great outdoor areas with ponds, bridges, a fairy tower and all sorts.  On the way back I nipped to Aldi to pick up some bits and we had lasagna and garlic bread for tea followed by a film (Demonic Toys) as my choice of entertainment as it was my birthday. 

Wednesday was rainy so we stayed on site but had a good explore around the woods and surrounding areas.  There were SO many paths and trails with a Trim Trak, a little scavenger hunt for kids including some large wooden games, a carved drumkit and a bug hotel, wildlife, woods and cycle paths.  There was also a gym and soft play centre on site but both were closed due to COVID.  That evening we had steak pie and chips (oven ones) and Sam chose the entertainment so we played on the Nintendo Switch (Overcooked).  I haven't laughed so hard in a LONG time.

On the Thursday we went to Matlock Bath Aquarium in the morning and then went for a little wander before spending the afternoon exploring the site a little more.  The evening involved fish and chips (when in Rome and all that) and Amy's choice of game - Throw Throw Burrito (which was interesting to say the least).

On Friday we basically got up, packed up and went home.  The house was a mess when we got back but that was to be expected.

That's the rundown of what we did but what made it so amazing was how much Oscar LOVED it.  He's been asking to go on holiday again ever since and it was well over a month ago.  We were keen to stay local as we thought he might be unsettled and struggle to adapt but he was perfect.  He slept pretty well, he wasn't asleep until 8:30 most nights and 9:30 on the first night but he slept pretty well on a mattress on the floor in between our twin beds.  When he woke I got in his bed with him and he slept until around 6, although the first morning was a 4:30 wake up!  He didn't really eat much but that wasn't a major issue - he lost a little weight but he has put it back on now. 

He loved the days out and spent most of the time in the lodge playing with water beads.  He was also pretty good with baby Ezra who was 7.5 months and learning to crawl at the time.  His favourite bit was taking the recycling to the bins every day - he still asks to do it now.  I genuinely can't believe how well it went and we have decided that, if the IVF cycle fails, we will book another short break for October time - our friends have also said they would be up for it again so at least we have something to look forward to if it fails.

We had the best time with so much food, drink, alcoholic gummies, good company, games, walking, laughing and just a wonderful experienced for Oscar's first holiday.

2.5 years old!

Somehow my baby is a whole 2.5 years old today - tomorrow he will officially be closer to 3 than 2!  We are in coronavirus lockdown so the last few weeks have been interesting to say the least.  We weighed him on our scales a few weeks ago and he was about 12.4 kg so he's following his centiles nicely.  He's still in 18-24 month clothes (and some of them are still big).  His 4.5 size shoes have finally got too small - he's had them since September and typically grows out of them in lockdown!  Fortunately he loves his wellies and they're a 5 so plenty of room and I got him some cheap shoes from ASDA the other day in a 5 to keep us going until I can get his feet measured properly.  

Development

His development has been absolutely crazy in the last few months and he is developing such a great little personality.  I really wish I could document every little moment and anecdote!

Speech
His speech has definitely caught up to average, if not a bit above, now!  You can have proper conversations with him, he speaks in full sentences, asks questions and generally has a word for everything.  He remembers phrases from books and TV and can request specific stories or episodes of things.  He knows all his colours and can count to 12.  He has recently taken an interest in a phonics song they have sent from nursery (only A to E) and has been practising the sounds and singing the songs.  He can generally articulate his wants, needs and some of his feelings.  He's incredibly polite and always says "please" and has just started saying "sorry" umprompted when he's done something he shouldn't.  He recently started enjoying Jack and the Beanstalk but couldn't catch what the giant was saying so was stomping around shouting "three, four, five, six" which had us in hysterics - he's got it now though.  He's also randomly taking to saying "you most welcome" and doing a little bow whenever I thank him for something which is super cute.  His little voice is just beautiful and I could listen to it all day.  His favourite thing at the moment is asking "what's that mummy" and "what's that noise mummy" to every single thing - it's exhausting but I love his curiosity.

Gross Motor
He is finally starting to run - the last few days he's insisted we all run together on our little walks which has been cute.  We managed a kilometre in 15 minutes so not bad for his little legs!  He can now jump with both feet and is managing to easily get up steps/pavements.  He used his balance bike properly for the first time today just walking around with it so hopefully that'll help with his skills.  He can catch a sticky ball on a pad but can't quite catch an actual ball yet.  Climbing isn't his strong suit but it's mostly a lack of interest.

Fine Motor
He's starting to be able to use a knife and fork but prefers to use his fingers so doesn't get as much practise as he could do with.  He isn't really interested in drawing/colouring so it's hard to tell where he's at with that.  He can thread tiny beads on to matchsticks and has learned to use tongs with one hand to pick up pom poms and buttons - one of his current favourite activities.   He can use scissors but needs to use two hands and loves using Ant's pliers to take Mega Bloks apart.  He's still quite ambidextrous but he is starting to favour his right hand for more challenging tasks.  He's been competent with a dustpan and brush for quite some time.

Self-Care
We are working on this one - some days he's very cooperative and others he just doesn't want to participate.  He is now fully potty trained unless he's really distracted and can get his pants and trousers down by himself and take himself off without supervision.  He does have a bad habit of tipping the wee on the floor afterwards though!  He can just about get his clothes back up again but mostly doesn't want to and honestly getting him to even keep trousers and pants on has been a real battle.  He tidies up really well and knows where to put things in their place.  

Social/Emotional
It's hard to tell where he's at with this area at the moment as we have been in lockdown for almost six weeks now so he has seen nobody other than myself and Ant.  It took him a few days to settle into it but he's loving it now.  It has been difficult with my working hours changing a lot but he's taken it mostly in his stride and his behaviour has been generally less challenging.  I'm almost beginning to wonder whether he is actually autistic now but I think that's just because he's in his comfort zone continuously.  We've had a few video chats and he's happy to see Nana and Papa mostly and always asks if it is them when the phone rings but he's not like most children his age are at the moment - missing their loved ones and wanting to go and hug them etc.  He's not once asked to see anyone.  Weirdly enough, I saw something today that said people have realised material things aren't important, they aren't missing those but are missing friends and family.  Ant and I have repeatedly said that actually what we are missing most is going to places and doing things, the simplicity of being able to nip to the shop, not seeing people.  The only people we are close to live within our house and although we like to communicate with others, technology has allowed this fine, so maybe he's just like us.  Oscar has suddenly got quite cuddly though which is nice and likes to snuggle at bedtime too.

His pretend play seems to have re-emerged a bit after a couple of months with very little - I bought him a chewy tube the other day as we would like to get rid of his dummy soon and I thought it might help his oral sensory processing.  He absolutely didn't want to chew on it but he did use it as a hammer, a rake and then pretended to be a doctor taking my temperature with it, telling me I was hot and then going to fetch me a plaster.

Health
He's done really well with dairy and, when we couldn't get almond milk because of the panic buyers, he had regular milk on his cereal with no issues.  He split his lip falling onto Ant's plyo box a couple of weeks ago which was his first proper injury - he's only ever even had scraped knees once before!  Otherwise his health is pretty stable right now.

Eating
Eating improved a bit and he even tried a few vegetables but then it went downhill again.  Currently we are in a bit of a middle phase - his safe foods change regularly but he will now eat some fruit (raisins and apples, although the apple only when it's mine).  He generally loves rice (only from a packet), scones, meatballs, popcorn chicken, ketchup, cereal (Weetabix/Shreddies), garlic bread, crackers and bread/toast but mostly just with Nutella on!  We noticed when we started potty training how little he drinks so we've been working hard on that.  We've had to start giving him really dilute squash and supplementing a bit with ice pops/ice cubes, which he loves crunching even though it hurts my teeth just watching him.  He has started being more open to trying foods and did eat raspberries (which he called rice babies) for the first time this week, but only frozen.

Sleep
The sleeping through did not last at all!  After a few weeks we were back to regular wake ups and me sleeping on his floor.  We ended up taking the plunge and buying him a double mattress which takes up most of the floor space in his room but has been a godsend.  He loves the space and it means that I don't end up crippled when I'm sleeping with him.  We did recently have a few nights again where he slept through but now he's generally waking between 9:30 and 11:30 and I just go and get in with him.  We had some horrifically early wake-ups, around 5 am.  Nowadays he tends to wake around 5:30 but I can usually get him to stay in bed until somewhere between 6 and 6:30, it means I'm still awake but then Ant will get up with him and let me get a bit more sleep if I'm not working.  We've capped his nap at 2 pm as bedtimes were getting later and now he generally falls asleep between 7:30 and 7:45.  He tends to fall asleep at naptime between 12:30 and 1 so he still has 1-1.5 hours most days.  Today he napped in his pushchair without his dummy for the first time and we've started a reward chart - we tried it the other day and he lost his mind (as we normally use the dummy to bribe him into the pushchair) but this time we distracted him with an ice pop and he took a while to fall asleep but he was happy enough.  We did have one day this week where he didn't nap at all, for the first time, but it seemed to be a one-off.

Nursery
We don't really have an update from nursery as he hasn't been there for about six weeks.  We did try to do a Zoom session for singing time with them but there were so many people online it was just loud and a bit of a mess and Oscar just wanted it turning off.  I'm really dreading trying to get him back into nursery once lockdown is over but at least with Ant being self employed we can ease him in gently hopefully.

Likes and Dislikes

He has a "special stone" which is a sparkly rock he dug up in the garden and goes to bed with him, along with Hooty the owl.  He currently loves his big Hide and Seek Pig floor jigsaw and his train that spits dominoes out the back.  His favourites change every couple of weeks and he still loves blocks, balls and playing with water. He is happiest when he's outside.  On the garden he loves digging (Ant bought him his own proper rake and spade and he's obsessed), being in the paddling pool and kicking his football around with us (his aim is pretty good).  He loves getting out for walks and exploring, pushing his toy pushchair around and spotting things (magpies, ducks, vehicles and, most recently, poop).  He is obsessed with his tiger wellies still and won't wear any other shoes - even in hot weather - although he has recently started tolerating grass in bare feet!  His favourite TV shows at the moment are Paw Patrol, Hello Ninja and Daniel Tiger.  His favourite books vary but he loves fairy tales (Jack & the Beanstalk, Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood etc) and still is a big fan of Julia Donaldson books.  He still loves chores - sweeping, hoovering, cutting the grass etc - and has recently found a love of baking.  He is always fiddling with his penis and seems to enjoy kicking things at the moment but you win some, you lose some.

He isn't keen on having his face wiped and can get quite upset if we are trying to have a conversation that doesn't involve him.  

Autism?
Generally things have settled down somewhat but I'm assuming that's because we are in lockdown and things are pretty predictable.  He isn't having to go to any unusual places or spend time around people.  We have had a letter to say that he will be assessed by a Community Paediatrician and a Speech & Language therapist (not because of his speech but to assess social interaction etc for autism) but obviously there is already a long waiting list and it isn't moving at all because of lockdown.  I will be interested to see how he copes with the transition back to nursery etc - he coped with the transition to lockdown pretty well but that's because he's stuck in his comfort zone.  He even didn't go out for walks for about five weeks because we got out all the garden toys from last summer so the novelty kept him happy in the garden.

Potty Training

I'm on annual leave this week and had planned to potty train and, as it happened, Oscar got a temperature last Friday and wasn't allowed back to nursery until today (7 day self-isolating, COV-19 pandemic - I'm not gonna write about it because I'm pretty damn sure I'm not gonna forget about it).

We didn't get started until Monday and we set up a sticker chart, kept the potty in view and planned to put him in pants, try to get him to drink lots and sit him on the potty every 30 minutes.  Here's our diary:

Monday

I took his pull-up off around half 8 and he wasn't in the best of moods.  I explained the sticker chart but he wasn't interested in sitting on the potty for more than a few seconds.  Eventually around 10 am he sat down for almost 45 minutes playing on my phone - he didn't want to get up.  Sadly no joy.  We put him in a pull-up for naptime which was still dry when he got up at 2!  He then went back into pants and FINALLY did a wee, albeit mostly on the floor around 3 pm.  We grabbed him and popped him on the potty to finish it and the same happened again around 6 pm.  Then randomly about 6:15 pm he said "Oscar sit on my potty", pulled his pants down and I asked if he needed a wee.  He said "no, poo poo" and did a poo!  He was so proud of himself and he got a couple of stickers.  It did highlight to us that he probably doesn't drink nearly enough though and even allowing a little squash didn't really help much.  However, he had been eating and drinking virtually nothing over the weekend so maybe he was just re-hydrating and using the fluids.

Tuesday

He was a little more motivated but unfortunately the wees went on the floor again (half in the potty as we moved him as soon as we saw) during the morning.  Again in the evening we got a poo on the potty and then a wee shortly after.  He got some more stickers and a book as a reward for reaching five!

Wednesday

This was a real breakthrough of a day - we had two wees in the potty in the morning, then an accident on the floor whilst playing with water.  We got a couple more pees in the potty in the afternoon, another accident and then a poo in the potty in the evening.  Because he'd got another five stickers we gave him a little pairs game (I'd stocked up on 10 for £10 books from The Works and two £2 games).

Thursday

We absolutely cracked it today.  Ant got up with him while I had a bit of a lie in and there were two potty wees.  After that he went to work and I'm not joking, it got crazy.  Oscar obviously was proud of himself and loved the praise (he stopped asking for or caring about stickers) so was squeezing out a tiny wee every few minutes.  By lunchtime I must have emptied the potty 15 times.  I'd just put my lunch in a bowl when he came in saying he'd been sick (reflux) on the carpet, I cleaned up and sat down then he weed, I cleaned up again and then he did a poo... it was ridiculous BUT all praiseworthy.  In the afternoon, after his nap, we left him in his pull-up while we got him a snack and stuff.  He came waddling into the kitchen with pants and pull-up around his ankles to tell us he had done a wee ON THE POTTY.  Again the evening there was another poo.  It was our first day with no accidents and he got another book as a reward.

Friday

This was a little bit of a setback but not really.  He was back at nursery this morning and did all his wees in his pants.  However, he did go up to the staff and say "Oscar done wee wee in pants" and ask for more trousers.  We knew it would be harder for him at nursery as the potty isn't so close, it's all different and there are a lot more distractions.  However this afternoon he took off his trousers and pull up after his nap to go in the potty and went a few more times.  He did have a small accident on the sofa but that was in the midst of being really upset so not unexpected.  He then did his evening poop in the potty just before the bath.

I'm so, so proud of him.  I can't believe how well he's taken to it.  We've stopped with the reward chart as he isn't asking for it - I honestly thought he was so motivated by the stickers that we might have to give them to him forever but apparently not! We will see how the next few weeks go!

We're still here too...

Obviously I intended to write this post when I wrote the last one about Oscar but life got in the way and now, honestly, I'd rather just write another Oscar update.  However, dutifully, I shall document our lives too!

Course

I have now finished my course.  Well, almost.  I've handed in my last assignment, had it returned and sent it back amended.  Hopefully it will come back as acceptable and then that will be it.  I'm expecting it to take a couple of months for the certificate to come through but my plan will be to look for a job to start in a school in September IF the IVF fails.  If the IVF is successful then I'll be staying in the NHS until after my maternity leave otherwise I wouldn't be eligible for maternity pay in a new job etc.  It's nice to be finished and have one less ball to juggle.

Business

Ant's business has taken a massive turn and he now owns his own personal training facility.  We had resigned ourselves to nothing happening until next year but at the end of November he went to look at a property and it was perfect.  We got the keys around the second week of December and then it was all hands on deck.  We spent a LOT of time getting it cleaned up, laying flooring, building equipment etc especially over Christmas.  Oscar was amazing as he ended up spending a lot of time there with us but it was nice to get him involved.  We officially opened a couple of weeks into January and his business is going from strength to strength - it's slow to pick up but it's definitely going in the right direction.  He hired a PR company who heard about his accident and he ended up on the radio, ITV news and has just done a piece for Gym Owner Monthly magazine as their featured gym owner. 

IVF

We had our appointment at the beginning of January and they basically told us that we were good to go as soon as we were ready.  We have a really busy end of this year with the Dixon wedding, Oscar's birthday, Christmas etc. so we don't want a due date until next year.  With that in mind we decided to defer and we are due to start injections again on 1 April.  With the current coronavirus issues we are wondering whether it will get cancelled... or whether we may not be able to travel to London... but we shall see, we have another couple of weeks to see how things pan out.  I'm excited but also quite nervous - realistically this is our last shot.

Self-Employment

I've finally started doing some at-home typing for a company called DICT8 in the last couple of days and it's working out to be quite lucrative - there's not always work to do but I've managed to get about three hours in over the last few evenings/naptimes and my hourly rate is averaging about 1.5x my current wage at work so that's not so bad.  I'm also doing some overtime on Sunday's at work and I get an 88% enhancement so it's close to double time, which is pretty good.  Just trying to get every penny we can when we can in case we need to go for another round of IVF... or if we succeed this time we need a bigger house!

Fitness

I've finally got myself back in the gym and generally been managing two sessions a week although Ant is now starting to get so busy that it's been difficult especially with commitments to overtime and Oscar's Early Support Group.  I definitely feel better for it although we've all had a string of illnesses this winter. 

I think that just about gets you up to date of where we are now!

Oscar Update!

Now I'm not doing a monthly blog update for Oscar it seems like time is just flying and I'm forgetting to document things so this is going to be a LONG one.

We had his 2 year Health Visitor review on New Year's Eve and he was 11.65 kg (25 lb 11 oz) but she wasn't able to do his height as it was a home visit.  We have a Paediatrician appointment on 4 Feb so I'll have to wait until then.  He's still comfortably in 12-18 month trousers and his coat/puddlesuit although he's in 18-24 month tops.  His feet don't seem to have grown in a while and they're still a 4.5, how dinky!

Development

The amount of development we have seen since he turned 2 is insane - it's like he's growing up before our very eyes - so much so that I'm going to split it into categories so I don't forget anything:

Speech
Considering that, just before his birthday, I was concerned about his speech as he wasn't even putting two words together, there's certainly no need for me to be concerned now.  He speaks mostly in short phrases and repeats pretty much everything he hears.  His pronunciation can still be difficult but we usually get the gist.  He can use up to 6 or 7 words in a sentence ("Chase Mummy Daddy all around big blocks) was one I heard recently.  He is trying to count although it often goes "one, two, eight, ten" but he can count to at least five if he's really concentrating and he does point to things as he counts so I think he understands that each number relates to one thing.  He's randomly started saying "Monday, Tuesday" as well today too since the days of the week are mentioned in a Goldilocks and the Three Bears book that we've been reading lately.  He says "hi" now to greet people which sounds super sweet and just generally some of the things he comes out with are hilarious.  His memory is brilliant and he often tells me what he's been doing while I've been at work.  He uses his pronouns well when referring to himself "me, my, mine" but hasn't got "you" yet.  In the last week or so he has really developed an interest in colours and can correctly identify brown, black, white, green and blue most of the time with reasonable attempts at red, yellow, pink and purple.

Gross Motor
He lags behind a little bit in this area but he's still just about keeping up.  He doesn't really run yet, more of a fast walk, and he's not much of a climber although I suspect a lack of interest is playing a part in that.  He has been able to throw since he was about 6 months and it's been a good few months since he learned to kick a ball properly, with aim so his skills are there in the areas that interest him.  He can go up and down stairs easily enough - the only thing that stops him sometimes is that his legs are so short so he prefers to crawl up or bum shuffle down but he will go up on his feet with a little coaxing and a hand to hold, he doesn't even question it if we come to steps outside!

Fine Motor
He's really competent with a spoon and fork and can scrape out a bowl pretty well.  He can stack blocks and do jigsaws with ease although getting him to play with a variety of toys lately is getting harder, he has very specific toys he wants to play with continuously for days or weeks and then it will switch to something else.  He can "draw" and will copy lines or circles.  He's always been imaginative with his drawings and will tell you what it is - he has done since about 18 months of age. 

Self-Care
He's really coming on in this area too - he loves brushing his hair (now he finally has enough) and is mostly willing to have his teeth brushed (and has a go himself).  He's pretty good at feeding himself and can drink from an open cup, although he prefers to use a straw.  He's very recently started doing a really good job of dressing himself too.  For over a year he's been able to help get his arms in sleeves and the like but today, after his bath, he put his pull-up on independently, then his trousers and had a good go at doing his vest and top himself (I got them ready and handed them to him with the neck open and he put them over his head and got his arms in).  I feel like nursery should get the credit for this one as it isn't something I've taught him!

Social/Emotional
This is the area where he really struggles - recently he has just started going up to other kids and hugging them which is a little weird!  He seems to withdraw in situations that are overwhelming - such as nursery - and then really lets loose when he's in a safe space, such as home.  Over Christmas we had a really busy, loud couple of days at my dad's house with the foster kids and he was pretty good, other than needing some quiet time multiple times.  However, for the couple of days after Christmas, when we finally had full days at home, his behaviour was off the charts difficult!  He has good pretend play and he understands greeting people and saying bye but he struggles with his emotions.  He's starting to be able to voice his feelings, at least when he's scared, so hopefully that will help.

Health
I think we've finally cracked the dairy intolerance - the only thing we haven't tried is actual milk but to be honest I'm not that bothered about that.  He has had some screaming episodes in the night with yoghurts but only certain brands so I don't think that's related to the dairy.  Otherwise his physical health is pretty good at the moment - fingers crossed.

Eating
Eating is a hard topic for us - he's still incredibly picky and what he likes often changes from day to day.  Generally his "safe" foods are cous cous, finger rolls, popcorn chicken, cereal, crackers, peanut butter and he's recently developed a love for scones.  He also likes all the general stuff like biscuits, chocolate and kiddy snacks (although mostly just oaty bars and coconut rolls nowadays).  He doesn't really like crisps, except the occasional Pringle.  He did eat a Yorkshire pudding at Christmas and apparently he eats fruit at nursery.  He is getting better at using his "no thank you" spot instead of throwing food, although it often still ends up on the floor.  He'll try new things but "eurgh" is one of his new favourite reactions to even mention of new foods! 

Sleep
Not long after his birthday we moved him into his own room despite expecting the worst.  For a week or two I slept on his floor and then I'd just go in when he woke up and stay with him until morning.  On days where I got up to go to work he would sleep later in a morning so we figured the early starts were just because he could see me.  Then I got a stomach bug one night - I spent half the night lying on his floor vomiting and the next day we literally just lay on the sofa chilling as much as he would allow.  That night he slept through and the next.  For a week or two we had a few days of perfect sleep and a few days that were hit and miss.  The last time he woke up during the night was 27 December, when he got his head stuck under his bookcase like an idiot.  Since then he's gone down every night at 19:30 (bar one where he just wouldn't go down) and we've had to wake him up at 7 am (occasionally he's woken before but generally not).  I still lie with him to get him to sleep but that's not an issue and I like having a little cuddle with him, although mostly he doesn't want me touching him.  He's napping anywhere between 12:30 and 13:30, usually earlier if we force a nap with motion in the pushchair, and we wake him at 14:30 if he's not already awake.  Generally if he falls asleep at 12:30ish he'll wake up naturally just before 14:30.  If anything I'm a little concerned that he is suddenly needing so much sleep and generally just wants to be a bit lazy, I'm hoping spring and more outside time will perk him up a bit.  I have no idea what miracle happened or how we got to this point but it is amazing - it took me a couple of weeks to get used to the idea of not having him close by and I still wake up at every little noise on the monitor but things are definitely looking up.  Now if only I actually felt refreshed by the sleep!

Nursery
We have parents evening next week but I did have a bit of a chat with his nursery manager today as she's filled in the assessment form for the Community Paediatrician referral and I had a few questions.  Basically they have no concerns, other than his eating, but they weren't aware he could speak more than one word at a time as it's not something they've seen yet!  I've taken some videos to send to his electronic log so they know where he's at when he's at home.  Generally though he's doing great.  He really loves it there and is coming along nicely.  She did mention that his eating is hit and miss and something they give him one day that he loves he might absolutely hate the next.

Likes and Dislikes

His likes change regularly but he tends to have a pair of things that he'll carry around, one in each hand - recently it has been two Lego dinosaurs, a big plastic hippo and a baby plastic hippo, a green spoon and a yellow spoon... you get the picture.  He still loves The Greatest Showman songs and Baby Shark.  He's favourite things to watch are Peppa Pig, Bing, the Julia Donaldson adaptations (current favourites are The Highway Rat and The Snail and the Whale) and anything with dinosaurs (especially Jurassic World or Lego Jurassic World).  He suddenly loves being snuggled in a blanket which is weird for a kid who spend the first two years of his life refusing to be covered up by anything.  He always has to have his sleeves rolled up which is kinda cute.  He is dinosaur mad and currently obsessed with his new tiger wellies - as soon as he gets them dirty he wants to come home and clean them.  He really likes cleaning - mopping, sweeping, you name it.  He idolises his daddy and wants to be just like him - today he pulled his nappy down around his ankles and was pretending to stretch in it like a resistance band, waddling around the bathroom saying "stretch band".

He absolutely hates people getting up in his space and having to share his toys.  He doesn't like the wind either.  He struggles with patience but we've found setting timers seems to work reasonably well.  He doesn't like having his nappy changed but we are hoping to work on potty training in the spring so hopefully that'll resolve that one.  He has very strong opinions but there isn't much he just outright dislikes.

Autism?
We've had our suspicions for a long time although I can't really identify where they started and I probably should have written about them.  We see a lot of similarities in him to us when we were kids and obviously we both have our issues.  I saw the GP back in November about his eating and general behaviour issues - mostly things like running around in circles when he gets overwhelmed, seeming to hate other children his own age and either running away or hitting them if they get near him, having to roll his sleeves up, not liking certain textures, his eating habits, liking things a certain way, masking his behaviours when in public or nursery and really letting loose when he's at home.  I could go on. 

They brought his 2 year review forward and the HV came to see us on NYE.  She spent a good two hours with us and he had a real meltdown during that time so Ant had to take him upstairs while I talked to her.  She was more than happy with his development from the questionnaire but she also gave us a social/emotional questionnaire to do.  The cut-off for concern was 50 and he scored 105 so she wanted to refer him on for a Community Paediatrician to assess properly - she was 99% sure that referral would be accepted.  In the meantime, we had to fill in another questionnaire and get nursery to do one too.  I imagine he will be assessed and they will dismiss it because he is so well balanced at nursery but that's because he masks and also because he thrives on routine - if he's having a hard day things settle down once we get to his bedtime routine because it's predictable and he feels safe.

Anyway, in the meantime, she has referred us to an Early Support Group at the SureStart Centre run by another woman who has an autistic child.  It's a six-week course on a Tuesday afternoon (fortunately my day off) where they cover all sorts of topics.  They phoned me this week to say that they would like to do a home visit to get to know us first and let us know more about it so they are coming next Wednesday - I'll try to do an update about that so that I have references to look back on, I do put quite a lot on Instagram but I haven't yet posted about the whole autism thing as my mum has Instagram and I don't want her getting involved just yet.

Phew... that's a LOT.  I'm sure there's plenty more that I've missed but that's basically where we are at now.  I'll do another post about what's going on with Ant and I - business and IVF stuff mostly - but that can wait for another day!

Ding Ding... Round 2!

Well… where do I start?

We finally had our appointment with the Consultant to get the IVF ball rolling on 5 November. Oscar stayed with Nana and Papa while we went to Sheffield and he had an absolute blast by all accounts. 

Essentially, it was a bit pointless Ant being there despite them having demanded he attended. The Consultant asked what our plans were, said he would like to get a baseline scan (which I had expected to be done at the appointment) and then would refer us to the fertility clinic. He did ask us what our plans were if this failed i.e. did we want to do another cycle and then checked my AMH (ovarian reserve) just in case that is something we decide to do. He did warn us that we wouldn’t be seen in the fertility clinic until the new year most likely but, as we weren’t wanting to get started until springtime, that wasn’t a problem for us and was something we had anticipated.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’ve received my appointment for the scan on 3 December. That should be a nice easy one as it’s on my day off anyway and I can go alone. However, we then received our appointment for the fertility clinic for the afternoon of 12 December. First thoughts were that it was a pleasant surprise to have received an appointment before Christmas but that it’s on my working day which makes it difficult for us to get there without me having a day off – either I have to leave work early enough to go back and pick Ant up or we have to take two cars. There’s also childcare as an issue because we knew Nana and Papa were at work that day. As it turns out, I’m actually on annual leave that day anyway because I’m going to a concert. Typically, the concert is in Sheffield. Now, initially that sounds perfect… appointment in Sheffield, hang around for concert. Except the appointment is with Ant and the concert is with a friend so my friend would have to get herself to Sheffield (and she’s due to give birth about two weeks before) and Ant would have to get himself home… starting to get less straightforward.

I moved the appointment to 19 December to avoid any stress and asked if Ant really needed to be there. Turns out he does, we have to sign and be witnessed signing the consent form to thaw the embryo. Therefore, we can’t do 19 December as we have no childcare. It definitely wasn’t this hard last time. Let me just add, I’m not the sort of person who requires childcare to get on with my daily tasks. If I have an appointment, I just take Oscar with me and I think it’s important that he learns how to behave in these situations. However, I’m not insensitive enough to roll up to a fertility clinic with a toddler – there are no rules against it but there is kind of an unspoken rule that you just don’t do it.

So that brings us to yesterday! The nurse had emailed me to let me know about the need for us both to attend and offered to move the appointment to the new year as we wouldn’t be able to start before Jan/Feb anyway due to Christmas closures. Fortunately, Nana and Papa were at our house at the time so we worked out a day that worked for all of us, meaning they could have Oscar while Ant and I had our appointment and it still leaves us plenty of time to aim for a spring cycle. So our appointment is now 8 January on one of my days off work – at least working part time is providing a little flexibility I guess. I’d love to say that the nurse is so accommodating because it’s going to be a privately funded cycle but, the truth is, she’s the same nurse we dealt with last time and she was always willing to move mountains to make our lives a little easier so I’m 100% grateful to have her on our team!

We know that the cycle is about five weeks (not including three weeks of pills first) so we are aiming to transfer somewhere between the end of April and middle of May which will give us a mid-Jan/mid-Feb 2021 due date if we are successful. We’ve put a LOT of thought into the timing as anything earlier would have meant risking missing our friends’ wedding in September 2020, then we could have tried to squeeze between that and Oscar’s birthday in November 2020 or between his birthday and Christmas but allowing for the fact that babies can be three weeks early or two weeks late (not including planning for an actual premature baby) it would all just have been too risky. We figure if we aim for mid-Jan at the earliest we should at least be clear for Christmas, although obviously there are never any guarantees.

Part of me is SUPER excited to get things moving but also terrified… if this fails then potentially that’s it and all hope is removed. The Consultant also mentioned at the appointment that because of my cycle being long he doesn’t think I ovulate – now, I remember this conversation happening last time and I think we checked and I just ovulate later in the cycle BUT it’s still a concern, just in case we did decide to get Ant tested and go down the route of trying naturally (assuming luck is in our favour and he doesn’t carry the gene). 

So right now things are a little bit up in the air but we are hopeful moving forward. I’ve gone back onto the pill which should hopefully bring some predictability back to my cycles and get my body ready for the treatment ahead. I’m a little concerned that last time I was in pretty good shape physically and had a LOT less stress in my life (no mentally ill mother to worry about, no sleep deprivation, no highly strung toddler, no financial issues… you get the picture) but I’ve got a few months to do what I can to give myself the best possible chance. Obviously, I’m currently eating a chocolate bar and drinking a can of full-sugar energy drink while typing this so maybe I should try harder but I’m FULL of cold and needed a boost!

24 months - TWO whole years!

Once again I'm terribly late writing this but this will be my last monthly Oscar update - they'll get a bit ad hoc now!

Weight:  I haven't had him weighed in a while but he seems to be growing.  He's finally gone into 18-24 month clothes, although we've had to go back to 12-18 month trousers as the bigger ones are just falling down!

Health:  We are really progressing well with the milk ladder - he managed step 1 of malted milks and step 2 of muffins with no issues (other than the fact that he demands biscuits and muffins now and refuses to eat at all when he doesn't get them).  We tried step 3 which includes cooked cheese such as sauces or pizza, custard, chocolate and yoghurts - he outright refused pizza but he has been having a little bit of custard over the last few days with seemingly no ill effects, time will tell.  Otherwise his health has been okay, although the query of autism is coming up more and more.  He gets overly fixated on things (at nursery he carries a doll around in each hand for the whole 5 hours he's there), he has major issues with food and throws everything, he likes to eat soil or stones, he often smacks or bites me especially if he's not seen me in a while and we had serious self-regulating issues when we tried to get rid of his dummy.  I plan to approach the GP next week to see what we can do - if nothing else I need some help with the food side of things.  He choked on a coin on his birthday and that was the last straw with everything going in his mouth!

Sleep:  His sleep isn't great at the moment - he's back to asking me to "stay" at night which is just too cute to refuse and he gets very upset if I don't oblige.  He has also had a few nights where he's really faffed about, last night it took an hour because he really wanted his Mad About Dinosaurs book (a current obsession) reading over and over again, then he said he needed a drink, then a wee, eventually he crashed and slept through bar one wake up for a couple of ounces of milk.  Most nights he wakes up once or twice, occasionally more.  He still tends to wake early although we have been putting him to bed no earlier than 7, sometimes as late as 8, and occasionally get lie ins until around 6:30.  It could be a bit of separation anxiety, stress from moving room at nursery (despite not being upset there at all), 2 year sleep regression or just because he's learning so much.

Development:  His speech has absolutely exploded in the last month - he's regularly putting two words together now such as "mama knee", "oh no", "all gone", "did it", "big digger" etc.  He asks for people by name now and his first proper name was "Maymee" for "Amy"!  He has great pretend play and feeds his baby or makes me cups of tea.  His physical development is coming on and he's starting to try to catch balls although rarely successful just yet.  He is doing really well at swimming (when he wants to participate) and blows bubbles, kicks, pushes off from the side, climbs onto and jumps off the float, holds on to the side and turns towards us, tries to monkey walk - he just is mostly grumpy as lessons are in afternoons so we are planning to move to a morning session. He's taking a real interest in numbers and can identify a fair few of them if he's focusing, the same with shapes.  Colours are slow to come but he seems to have got brown randomly!  He can pretty competently use a spoon and fork and is starting to use a knife with a little help - we haven't given him one at meals but he likes to use them with Play Doh or help to cut up his food.  He finishes the rhymes in his Mad About Dinosaurs book, saying the last word of "teeth" or "claws".  His memory is brilliant and he will tell me what he's done during the day when I get home from work.  He's just about tolerating a blanket at night and for the first time tonight he's actually using his duvet, although I'm sure it won't last!

Likes/Dislikes:  Food wise he seems to have found a love for baked beans, with cous cous still a firm favourite.  Night time crackers have been replaced by Cheerios for now but to be honest he loves any cereal.  His favourite TV show at the moment (much to my dismay) is Peppa Pig and he loves watching the songs from Moana on YouTube, along with a video called Here Comes a Digger.  Book wise he had a book from Emma for his birthday called Lost and Found which is about a penguin and he really likes it but his firm favourite is Mad About Dinosaurs - it has little rhymes about all different types of dinosaurs and he will ask for it to be read five or six times in a row!  His favourite toys are a plastic dinosaur that he had in a set for his birthday and has named "Big Roar" and his baby, which we bought him for his birthday after much controversy.  He loves pink things, again much controversy!  He still loves balls - throwing and kicking anything to be honest.  He likes feeding animals such as the ducks at the park and tries to get the cats to come to him, he is finally starting to be gentle with them too.  He really doesn't like shadows at the moment and is pretty scared of fireworks.  He doesn't like it if he's having a strop and you try to get toys out to distract him and he doesn't like spills e.g. if he spills something on him or if someone else has a wet patch on their clothes.  He isn't a giant fan of other children and actually spent most of a friend's little boy's birthday fending toddlers off with a toy chair!

Nursery:  He's moved up to the 2-3 year room at nursery this week and is absolutely loving it - he runs in without hesitation in a morning and can't wait to find his "baby".  I think he must feel a little insecure as he can't cope if he hasn't got a baby in each hand - at home he likes to take his baby everywhere but is happy to put her down while he's playing etc.  I'll be interested to see how he gets on with the more social side of things and whether they are noticing any autistic traits.

Me:  I did my fourth assignment amendments and it passed but I have barely started on the fifth - it's been such a busy month with work, Ant's business, Oscar's birthday, family stuff etc.  I did apply for a job yesterday at a school but I don't have the qualifications or experience so I'm not expecting to even hear back from them.  I'm really stressed about money, especially with Christmas coming up, but things could always be worse.

We had our IVF appointment on Tuesday and are set to be seen in the fertility clinic in the new year.  I've started back on the pill and I'm due to go for a scan in Sheffield on 3 December as the final part of the fertility checks.  Oddly he said from my blood tests that my long cycle might mean that I don't ovulate so would have struggled naturally but actually I think I remember last time him having to do extra blood tests that showed I just ovulate late - I'm pretty sure I ovulate!