Pregnancy - 6 weeks

 How far along?  6 weeks  

How big is baby?  The size of a jelly bean.

Total weight gain/loss? I'm still 59.7 kg this week so no change, 1.1 kg down from starting weight.

Waist?  I've not measured this week, just couldn't be bothered. 

Stretchmarks?  None as yet, I've been using my tummy butter although I'm sure that doesn't make a difference.

Maternity clothes?  No need yet, hopefully for a while.

Sleep?  It has definitely been a bit better this week, I've managed a couple of early nights and when Oscar has woken up early he's nodded back off on the sofa.  I still feel exhausted though!

Best moment this week?  Nothing pregnancy-related has really happened yet but just getting closer to the scan. Also a few lovely moments with Oscar kissing and stroking my tummy asking about baby (although now he's decided he doesn't want one).

Movement?  Nothing yet, way too early.

Food cravings?  Nothing really, just bland salty stuff like Pringles although I have enjoyed some fizzy sweets this week too.

Food aversions?  Nothing that I can think of.

Gender?  I'd put money on it being a boy.

Labour signs?  No.

Pregnancy symptoms?  At the beginning of the week I was really starting to doubt that I was even pregnant but I'm starting to feel the classic stuff now.  I'm absolutely exhausted and the nausea has really started to kick in over the last few days, particularly if I've not eaten for a few hours. Boobs are still a little tender but nothing too bad.  I'm definitely feeling the mood swings as well - I've been pretty impatient and snappy.

Belly button in or out?  In.

What I miss?  Caffeine - I'm so damn tired.

What I am looking forward to?  Oscar's birthday this week - especially as he will have new stuff to play with so might chill out a little. 

Upcoming appointments/scans?  My scan is on Monday and I cannot wait!

Weekly wisdom?  I'm really not feeling very wise this week - I've felt like everything is getting away from me.  However, always asking for a second opinion is key.  I rang my GP to discuss my sertraline this week and ended up talking to a different GP who recommended I stop it.  However, I don't feel confident with that so I'm going to ring my actual GP on Monday to double check.

Milestones?  No real milestones this week!

Bump Picture:

Pregnancy - 5 weeks

How far along?  5 weeks  

How big is baby?  I'm going with sweets this time so about the size of a smartie.

Total weight gain/loss? I'm 59.7 kg this week so actually 1.1 kg down from my starting weight.

Waist?  30 inches, same as last week although I'm doing my weight in a morning and measuring in an evening so could be inaccurate.

Stretchmarks?  None as yet, I've ordered some tummy butter which should hopefully be here tomorrow.

Maternity clothes?  No need yet, hopefully for a while.

Sleep?  I've had a few rubbish nights with Oscar taking up most of his bed and fidgeting a lot (I'm sleeping in his room at the moment) but last night I wedged a pillow between us and that helped a lot.  I'm also finding I fall asleep much better if I read for 10-15 minutes before bed instead of staying on my phone.

Best moment this week?  Starting to feel pregnant and telling people our news.

Movement?  Nothing yet, way too early.

Food cravings?  Nothing yet - I'm basically stuffing my face continuously when I'm at work but then not eating so much when I'm at home and busy so it's balancing out.

Food aversions?  Nothing really.

Gender?  We reckon it will be a boy however Oscar is adamant he's having a baby sister.

Labour signs?  Nooo.

Pregnancy symptoms?  I've had quite a few symptoms this week.  I've been quite fatigued although that could just be lack of sleep.  I've been having to pee a lot more than normal and basically felt like I need to pee constantly.  I've had achey joints, especially my hips, and been getting breathless really easily.  I also have quite tender boobs too.  I'm loving it at the moment though.  The symptoms aren't severe so I'm just grateful to feel something that helps me to believe I'm pregnant.

Belly button in or out?  In.

What I miss?  Super hot baths - the temperature has really dropped this week and I've felt really cold.

What I am looking forward to?  So many things - currently very excited about Halloween, our scan and Oscar's birthday which are all within three days and then a holiday the week after!

Upcoming appointments/scans?  I have a scan at the clinic in Sheffield on 1 November (6 weeks 3 days).

Weekly wisdom?  Don't feel guilty for other people's situations.  My best friend found out that her IVF transfer had failed this week and I was devastated for her but also felt so guilty about my own situation.  Both her and my work bestie are struggling to conceive at the moment and it's awful but I need to remember that it isn't my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty for being pregnant, especially as I've been through so much myself.

Milestones?  Starting to have symptoms!

Bump Picture:

Pregnancy - 4 weeks

How far along?  4 weeks  

How big is baby?  I'm going with sweets this time so about the size of a rainbow sprinkle.

Total weight gain/loss?  My starting weight is 60.8 kg which annoyingly is about what I weighed at 26 weeks pregnant last time so I'm expecting to be much bigger this time.

Waist?  30 inches - again annoyingly this is where I was at when I hit 20 weeks last time so I'm starting on the back foot.

Stretchmarks?  None yet - I'll be getting some Palmer's Cocoa Tummy Butter which I used nightly last time.

Maternity clothes?  I didn't really buy much last time but I'm still wearing the leggings I bought! 

Sleep?  I'm absolutely exhausted! I've not been sleeping very well with restless legs and nightmares but also Oscar has been getting up really early - today it was 2:52. Needless to say I'm feeling pretty shattered already.

Best moment this week?  Finding out we are going to get to complete our family.

Movement?  Nothing yet, way too early.

Food cravings?  Nothing so far, I'm mostly just flitting between starving and having no appetite.

Food aversions?  Nothing.

Gender?  If we had to guess we would say a boy given our family history etc. However we will be finding out this time.

Labour signs?  Hope not!

Pregnancy symptoms?  I've been trying hard not to look for these but I've had a few. I'm very fatigued which could also be due to the lack of sleep. I also had an episode of lightning crotch earlier and have been having incredibly vivid dreams and restless legs for the last week. They could all just be related to the progesterone I'm taking but now I know that my HCG has also soared!

Belly button in or out?  In.

What I miss?  Caffeine, being fit going into my precious pregnancy, looking slim, getting to sleep past 4 AM, antihistamines.

What I am looking forward to?  Being able to finally start planning for our future!

Upcoming appointments/scans?  I have a scan at the clinic in Sheffield on 1 November (6 weeks 3 days).

Weekly wisdom?  Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change those I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Milestones?  Actually being pregnant!

Bump Picture:

Definitely bigger than I started off last time but I'll keep going with Serenity rather than berating myself for not being in better shape.

Beta Day!

What a day! 

I went for my blood tests this morning only to find that the request form hadn't been sent across. The kind lady took pity on me and did them anyway but I was wracked with nerves all day that my sample wouldn't get processed!

The ladies at work did an amazing job of keeping me calm and distracted all day and I finally got to go home.

When I got home Oscar was a bit upset so it was a while before I actually found out but then Ant waltzed in with a balloon with my beta written on it - 326! Even the nurse he spoke to asked if we had transferred two as that was quite high. Oscar's beta was 261 and we thought that was high so maybe my hormones just kick in quickly! 

Oscar was so excited to learn he was going to be a big brother but is adamant he wants a little sister so he may well end up disappointed. 

We made video calls to my dad, Ant's parents and our best friends Sam and Amy and I filled our other close friends in by way of messages.

This evening we chilled out with pizza and TV and I'm just trying to let it all sink in but I think it'll be a while before I really comprehend the enormity of the situation!

PUPO!

The last few weeks have absolutely flown by - I haven't written an update since right at the start of the cycle so this is going to be a long one.  I'm going to break it up into stages so I can refer back to it easily enough in the future:

Buserelin

For the first two weeks I did my injections and generally felt okay.  I had the occasional headache with them but nothing major at all.  The injections themselves have been a bit of a pain, especially on the right hand side, and I've struggled to get the needles in but it's a small price to pay.

Buserelin + Oestrogen

I had my scan after two weeks (14 Sept) and everything was suppressed as it should have been.  This has always been the case in previous cycles so there were no surprises.  With everything being as expected, I was given the go ahead to add in my oestrogen tablets.  Weirdly, during this two weeks my sex drive returned and we've had some rather interesting evenings together!  My appetite has definitely reduced but not to any sort of worrying level and I'm maintaining my weight - I could do with losing a bit but now isn't the time to focus on that.

Transfer Ahead!

On 28 September I went back for another scan (with a very bruised stomach as the injections bruised more and more as I went on).  At this point, generally my lining has been a little thinner than they would have liked or just about acceptable.  However, magically, this time my lining was already 11 mm!  I hadn't even been drinking my pomegranate juice because the one I found tasted awful.  I was given the green light for transfer and had to call that afternoon to arrange a date.

My amazing nurse, Tracy, asked if I would be willing for her to do my transfer and honestly I couldn't think of anything better.  She's looked after me for the last six years, right from the start, and has always been there every step of the way for all my silly questions and worries.  The transfer was set for 6 October which handily fell on a day I don't work and we decided that Ant would stay home with Oscar and I would go alone, knowing that I would be in safe hands with Tracy.  I started on my progesterone pessaries on the Friday morning (1 October) and that pretty much brings us to today...

Transfer Day

Yesterday they called and said my transfer was set for around 11:40 and so I needed to be there by half 11.  The Embryologist said she would give me a call this morning once they had thawed the embryo to let me know how it was getting on.  Fortunately she rang before 9 AM to let me know that it had survived and was hatching - exactly what they were hoping for.  I headed off at 9:45, having tried to drink plenty, and by 10:40 I needed to pee!  I made it there for about 11:05 and headed slowly up to the clinic.  When I arrived at 11:25 a nurse took me straight into a room to get changed and I quickly donned my gown and hairnet.  

After a few minutes Tracy came to see me and we had a bit of a chat.  She asked if I wanted her to do the transfer or if I wanted her supporting me by my side.  I absolutely wanted her to do the transfer as I could still talk to her and she was really keen to do it too as she's been with us from the beginning.  So she popped off to get ready and I just hung around in the recovery room waiting for someone to come and fetch me.  At about 11:50 the other nurse came back to get me and we headed into the theatre room. 

Once in there I sat on the bed and the Embryologist asked me a few questions, showed me a picture of the embryo and said we could keep it, which was a nice touch as we have never had that before.  It was hatching which is apparently a good sign.  Then Tracy talked me through the process.  It is obviously a familiar process for me by now but I appreciated how thorough she was and she enjoyed hearing how it was similar and different to Guy's.  After a few minutes I was asked to lie down and very nearly wet myself.  I managed to get in position and the doctor performing the ultrasound scanned my tummy, confirming that my bladder was perfectly full and she could get a great view of my uterus.  Along the way we laughed pretty much the whole time.  Someone commented that it was a bit dark and Tracy replied she liked mood lighting, I said I was trying really hard not to pee on her and she said, "You can pee on my any day" to which I laughed and very nearly peed and she also apologised for the speculum being a bit tight.

The procedure went without a hitch and the doctor doing the ultrasound also managed to get a photo of the flash as the embryo was transferred into my uterus which I was able to take home with me as well.  Tracy thanked me for allowing her to be a part of it, she was also there when the embryo was biopsied, and then I was sent on my way with all the information about the next steps.  

I gave Ant a ring on my walk back to the car park to let him know everything had gone well and then I headed home, grabbing McDonald's chips on the way!