Now I'm not doing a monthly blog update for Oscar it seems like time is just flying and I'm forgetting to document things so this is going to be a LONG one.
We had his 2 year Health Visitor review on New Year's Eve and he was 11.65 kg (25 lb 11 oz) but she wasn't able to do his height as it was a home visit. We have a Paediatrician appointment on 4 Feb so I'll have to wait until then. He's still comfortably in 12-18 month trousers and his coat/puddlesuit although he's in 18-24 month tops. His feet don't seem to have grown in a while and they're still a 4.5, how dinky!
Development
The amount of development we have seen since he turned 2 is insane - it's like he's growing up before our very eyes - so much so that I'm going to split it into categories so I don't forget anything:
Speech
Considering that, just before his birthday, I was concerned about his speech as he wasn't even putting two words together, there's certainly no need for me to be concerned now. He speaks mostly in short phrases and repeats pretty much everything he hears. His pronunciation can still be difficult but we usually get the gist. He can use up to 6 or 7 words in a sentence ("Chase Mummy Daddy all around big blocks) was one I heard recently. He is trying to count although it often goes "one, two, eight, ten" but he can count to at least five if he's really concentrating and he does point to things as he counts so I think he understands that each number relates to one thing. He's randomly started saying "Monday, Tuesday" as well today too since the days of the week are mentioned in a Goldilocks and the Three Bears book that we've been reading lately. He says "hi" now to greet people which sounds super sweet and just generally some of the things he comes out with are hilarious. His memory is brilliant and he often tells me what he's been doing while I've been at work. He uses his pronouns well when referring to himself "me, my, mine" but hasn't got "you" yet. In the last week or so he has really developed an interest in colours and can correctly identify brown, black, white, green and blue most of the time with reasonable attempts at red, yellow, pink and purple.
Gross Motor
He lags behind a little bit in this area but he's still just about keeping up. He doesn't really run yet, more of a fast walk, and he's not much of a climber although I suspect a lack of interest is playing a part in that. He has been able to throw since he was about 6 months and it's been a good few months since he learned to kick a ball properly, with aim so his skills are there in the areas that interest him. He can go up and down stairs easily enough - the only thing that stops him sometimes is that his legs are so short so he prefers to crawl up or bum shuffle down but he will go up on his feet with a little coaxing and a hand to hold, he doesn't even question it if we come to steps outside!
Fine Motor
He's really competent with a spoon and fork and can scrape out a bowl pretty well. He can stack blocks and do jigsaws with ease although getting him to play with a variety of toys lately is getting harder, he has very specific toys he wants to play with continuously for days or weeks and then it will switch to something else. He can "draw" and will copy lines or circles. He's always been imaginative with his drawings and will tell you what it is - he has done since about 18 months of age.
Self-Care
He's really coming on in this area too - he loves brushing his hair (now he finally has enough) and is mostly willing to have his teeth brushed (and has a go himself). He's pretty good at feeding himself and can drink from an open cup, although he prefers to use a straw. He's very recently started doing a really good job of dressing himself too. For over a year he's been able to help get his arms in sleeves and the like but today, after his bath, he put his pull-up on independently, then his trousers and had a good go at doing his vest and top himself (I got them ready and handed them to him with the neck open and he put them over his head and got his arms in). I feel like nursery should get the credit for this one as it isn't something I've taught him!
Social/Emotional
This is the area where he really struggles - recently he has just started going up to other kids and hugging them which is a little weird! He seems to withdraw in situations that are overwhelming - such as nursery - and then really lets loose when he's in a safe space, such as home. Over Christmas we had a really busy, loud couple of days at my dad's house with the foster kids and he was pretty good, other than needing some quiet time multiple times. However, for the couple of days after Christmas, when we finally had full days at home, his behaviour was off the charts difficult! He has good pretend play and he understands greeting people and saying bye but he struggles with his emotions. He's starting to be able to voice his feelings, at least when he's scared, so hopefully that will help.
Health
I think we've finally cracked the dairy intolerance - the only thing we haven't tried is actual milk but to be honest I'm not that bothered about that. He has had some screaming episodes in the night with yoghurts but only certain brands so I don't think that's related to the dairy. Otherwise his physical health is pretty good at the moment - fingers crossed.
Eating
Eating is a hard topic for us - he's still incredibly picky and what he likes often changes from day to day. Generally his "safe" foods are cous cous, finger rolls, popcorn chicken, cereal, crackers, peanut butter and he's recently developed a love for scones. He also likes all the general stuff like biscuits, chocolate and kiddy snacks (although mostly just oaty bars and coconut rolls nowadays). He doesn't really like crisps, except the occasional Pringle. He did eat a Yorkshire pudding at Christmas and apparently he eats fruit at nursery. He is getting better at using his "no thank you" spot instead of throwing food, although it often still ends up on the floor. He'll try new things but "eurgh" is one of his new favourite reactions to even mention of new foods!
Sleep
Not long after his birthday we moved him into his own room despite expecting the worst. For a week or two I slept on his floor and then I'd just go in when he woke up and stay with him until morning. On days where I got up to go to work he would sleep later in a morning so we figured the early starts were just because he could see me. Then I got a stomach bug one night - I spent half the night lying on his floor vomiting and the next day we literally just lay on the sofa chilling as much as he would allow. That night he slept through and the next. For a week or two we had a few days of perfect sleep and a few days that were hit and miss. The last time he woke up during the night was 27 December, when he got his head stuck under his bookcase like an idiot. Since then he's gone down every night at 19:30 (bar one where he just wouldn't go down) and we've had to wake him up at 7 am (occasionally he's woken before but generally not). I still lie with him to get him to sleep but that's not an issue and I like having a little cuddle with him, although mostly he doesn't want me touching him. He's napping anywhere between 12:30 and 13:30, usually earlier if we force a nap with motion in the pushchair, and we wake him at 14:30 if he's not already awake. Generally if he falls asleep at 12:30ish he'll wake up naturally just before 14:30. If anything I'm a little concerned that he is suddenly needing so much sleep and generally just wants to be a bit lazy, I'm hoping spring and more outside time will perk him up a bit. I have no idea what miracle happened or how we got to this point but it is amazing - it took me a couple of weeks to get used to the idea of not having him close by and I still wake up at every little noise on the monitor but things are definitely looking up. Now if only I actually felt refreshed by the sleep!
Nursery
We have parents evening next week but I did have a bit of a chat with his nursery manager today as she's filled in the assessment form for the Community Paediatrician referral and I had a few questions. Basically they have no concerns, other than his eating, but they weren't aware he could speak more than one word at a time as it's not something they've seen yet! I've taken some videos to send to his electronic log so they know where he's at when he's at home. Generally though he's doing great. He really loves it there and is coming along nicely. She did mention that his eating is hit and miss and something they give him one day that he loves he might absolutely hate the next.
Likes and Dislikes
His likes change regularly but he tends to have a pair of things that he'll carry around, one in each hand - recently it has been two Lego dinosaurs, a big plastic hippo and a baby plastic hippo, a green spoon and a yellow spoon... you get the picture. He still loves The Greatest Showman songs and Baby Shark. He's favourite things to watch are Peppa Pig, Bing, the Julia Donaldson adaptations (current favourites are The Highway Rat and The Snail and the Whale) and anything with dinosaurs (especially Jurassic World or Lego Jurassic World). He suddenly loves being snuggled in a blanket which is weird for a kid who spend the first two years of his life refusing to be covered up by anything. He always has to have his sleeves rolled up which is kinda cute. He is dinosaur mad and currently obsessed with his new tiger wellies - as soon as he gets them dirty he wants to come home and clean them. He really likes cleaning - mopping, sweeping, you name it. He idolises his daddy and wants to be just like him - today he pulled his nappy down around his ankles and was pretending to stretch in it like a resistance band, waddling around the bathroom saying "stretch band".
He absolutely hates people getting up in his space and having to share his toys. He doesn't like the wind either. He struggles with patience but we've found setting timers seems to work reasonably well. He doesn't like having his nappy changed but we are hoping to work on potty training in the spring so hopefully that'll resolve that one. He has very strong opinions but there isn't much he just outright dislikes.
Autism?
We've had our suspicions for a long time although I can't really identify where they started and I probably should have written about them. We see a lot of similarities in him to us when we were kids and obviously we both have our issues. I saw the GP back in November about his eating and general behaviour issues - mostly things like running around in circles when he gets overwhelmed, seeming to hate other children his own age and either running away or hitting them if they get near him, having to roll his sleeves up, not liking certain textures, his eating habits, liking things a certain way, masking his behaviours when in public or nursery and really letting loose when he's at home. I could go on.
They brought his 2 year review forward and the HV came to see us on NYE. She spent a good two hours with us and he had a real meltdown during that time so Ant had to take him upstairs while I talked to her. She was more than happy with his development from the questionnaire but she also gave us a social/emotional questionnaire to do. The cut-off for concern was 50 and he scored 105 so she wanted to refer him on for a Community Paediatrician to assess properly - she was 99% sure that referral would be accepted. In the meantime, we had to fill in another questionnaire and get nursery to do one too. I imagine he will be assessed and they will dismiss it because he is so well balanced at nursery but that's because he masks and also because he thrives on routine - if he's having a hard day things settle down once we get to his bedtime routine because it's predictable and he feels safe.
Anyway, in the meantime, she has referred us to an Early Support Group at the SureStart Centre run by another woman who has an autistic child. It's a six-week course on a Tuesday afternoon (fortunately my day off) where they cover all sorts of topics. They phoned me this week to say that they would like to do a home visit to get to know us first and let us know more about it so they are coming next Wednesday - I'll try to do an update about that so that I have references to look back on, I do put quite a lot on Instagram but I haven't yet posted about the whole autism thing as my mum has Instagram and I don't want her getting involved just yet.
Phew... that's a LOT. I'm sure there's plenty more that I've missed but that's basically where we are at now. I'll do another post about what's going on with Ant and I - business and IVF stuff mostly - but that can wait for another day!
