Ding Ding... Round 2!

Well… where do I start?

We finally had our appointment with the Consultant to get the IVF ball rolling on 5 November. Oscar stayed with Nana and Papa while we went to Sheffield and he had an absolute blast by all accounts. 

Essentially, it was a bit pointless Ant being there despite them having demanded he attended. The Consultant asked what our plans were, said he would like to get a baseline scan (which I had expected to be done at the appointment) and then would refer us to the fertility clinic. He did ask us what our plans were if this failed i.e. did we want to do another cycle and then checked my AMH (ovarian reserve) just in case that is something we decide to do. He did warn us that we wouldn’t be seen in the fertility clinic until the new year most likely but, as we weren’t wanting to get started until springtime, that wasn’t a problem for us and was something we had anticipated.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’ve received my appointment for the scan on 3 December. That should be a nice easy one as it’s on my day off anyway and I can go alone. However, we then received our appointment for the fertility clinic for the afternoon of 12 December. First thoughts were that it was a pleasant surprise to have received an appointment before Christmas but that it’s on my working day which makes it difficult for us to get there without me having a day off – either I have to leave work early enough to go back and pick Ant up or we have to take two cars. There’s also childcare as an issue because we knew Nana and Papa were at work that day. As it turns out, I’m actually on annual leave that day anyway because I’m going to a concert. Typically, the concert is in Sheffield. Now, initially that sounds perfect… appointment in Sheffield, hang around for concert. Except the appointment is with Ant and the concert is with a friend so my friend would have to get herself to Sheffield (and she’s due to give birth about two weeks before) and Ant would have to get himself home… starting to get less straightforward.

I moved the appointment to 19 December to avoid any stress and asked if Ant really needed to be there. Turns out he does, we have to sign and be witnessed signing the consent form to thaw the embryo. Therefore, we can’t do 19 December as we have no childcare. It definitely wasn’t this hard last time. Let me just add, I’m not the sort of person who requires childcare to get on with my daily tasks. If I have an appointment, I just take Oscar with me and I think it’s important that he learns how to behave in these situations. However, I’m not insensitive enough to roll up to a fertility clinic with a toddler – there are no rules against it but there is kind of an unspoken rule that you just don’t do it.

So that brings us to yesterday! The nurse had emailed me to let me know about the need for us both to attend and offered to move the appointment to the new year as we wouldn’t be able to start before Jan/Feb anyway due to Christmas closures. Fortunately, Nana and Papa were at our house at the time so we worked out a day that worked for all of us, meaning they could have Oscar while Ant and I had our appointment and it still leaves us plenty of time to aim for a spring cycle. So our appointment is now 8 January on one of my days off work – at least working part time is providing a little flexibility I guess. I’d love to say that the nurse is so accommodating because it’s going to be a privately funded cycle but, the truth is, she’s the same nurse we dealt with last time and she was always willing to move mountains to make our lives a little easier so I’m 100% grateful to have her on our team!

We know that the cycle is about five weeks (not including three weeks of pills first) so we are aiming to transfer somewhere between the end of April and middle of May which will give us a mid-Jan/mid-Feb 2021 due date if we are successful. We’ve put a LOT of thought into the timing as anything earlier would have meant risking missing our friends’ wedding in September 2020, then we could have tried to squeeze between that and Oscar’s birthday in November 2020 or between his birthday and Christmas but allowing for the fact that babies can be three weeks early or two weeks late (not including planning for an actual premature baby) it would all just have been too risky. We figure if we aim for mid-Jan at the earliest we should at least be clear for Christmas, although obviously there are never any guarantees.

Part of me is SUPER excited to get things moving but also terrified… if this fails then potentially that’s it and all hope is removed. The Consultant also mentioned at the appointment that because of my cycle being long he doesn’t think I ovulate – now, I remember this conversation happening last time and I think we checked and I just ovulate later in the cycle BUT it’s still a concern, just in case we did decide to get Ant tested and go down the route of trying naturally (assuming luck is in our favour and he doesn’t carry the gene). 

So right now things are a little bit up in the air but we are hopeful moving forward. I’ve gone back onto the pill which should hopefully bring some predictability back to my cycles and get my body ready for the treatment ahead. I’m a little concerned that last time I was in pretty good shape physically and had a LOT less stress in my life (no mentally ill mother to worry about, no sleep deprivation, no highly strung toddler, no financial issues… you get the picture) but I’ve got a few months to do what I can to give myself the best possible chance. Obviously, I’m currently eating a chocolate bar and drinking a can of full-sugar energy drink while typing this so maybe I should try harder but I’m FULL of cold and needed a boost!

24 months - TWO whole years!

Once again I'm terribly late writing this but this will be my last monthly Oscar update - they'll get a bit ad hoc now!

Weight:  I haven't had him weighed in a while but he seems to be growing.  He's finally gone into 18-24 month clothes, although we've had to go back to 12-18 month trousers as the bigger ones are just falling down!

Health:  We are really progressing well with the milk ladder - he managed step 1 of malted milks and step 2 of muffins with no issues (other than the fact that he demands biscuits and muffins now and refuses to eat at all when he doesn't get them).  We tried step 3 which includes cooked cheese such as sauces or pizza, custard, chocolate and yoghurts - he outright refused pizza but he has been having a little bit of custard over the last few days with seemingly no ill effects, time will tell.  Otherwise his health has been okay, although the query of autism is coming up more and more.  He gets overly fixated on things (at nursery he carries a doll around in each hand for the whole 5 hours he's there), he has major issues with food and throws everything, he likes to eat soil or stones, he often smacks or bites me especially if he's not seen me in a while and we had serious self-regulating issues when we tried to get rid of his dummy.  I plan to approach the GP next week to see what we can do - if nothing else I need some help with the food side of things.  He choked on a coin on his birthday and that was the last straw with everything going in his mouth!

Sleep:  His sleep isn't great at the moment - he's back to asking me to "stay" at night which is just too cute to refuse and he gets very upset if I don't oblige.  He has also had a few nights where he's really faffed about, last night it took an hour because he really wanted his Mad About Dinosaurs book (a current obsession) reading over and over again, then he said he needed a drink, then a wee, eventually he crashed and slept through bar one wake up for a couple of ounces of milk.  Most nights he wakes up once or twice, occasionally more.  He still tends to wake early although we have been putting him to bed no earlier than 7, sometimes as late as 8, and occasionally get lie ins until around 6:30.  It could be a bit of separation anxiety, stress from moving room at nursery (despite not being upset there at all), 2 year sleep regression or just because he's learning so much.

Development:  His speech has absolutely exploded in the last month - he's regularly putting two words together now such as "mama knee", "oh no", "all gone", "did it", "big digger" etc.  He asks for people by name now and his first proper name was "Maymee" for "Amy"!  He has great pretend play and feeds his baby or makes me cups of tea.  His physical development is coming on and he's starting to try to catch balls although rarely successful just yet.  He is doing really well at swimming (when he wants to participate) and blows bubbles, kicks, pushes off from the side, climbs onto and jumps off the float, holds on to the side and turns towards us, tries to monkey walk - he just is mostly grumpy as lessons are in afternoons so we are planning to move to a morning session. He's taking a real interest in numbers and can identify a fair few of them if he's focusing, the same with shapes.  Colours are slow to come but he seems to have got brown randomly!  He can pretty competently use a spoon and fork and is starting to use a knife with a little help - we haven't given him one at meals but he likes to use them with Play Doh or help to cut up his food.  He finishes the rhymes in his Mad About Dinosaurs book, saying the last word of "teeth" or "claws".  His memory is brilliant and he will tell me what he's done during the day when I get home from work.  He's just about tolerating a blanket at night and for the first time tonight he's actually using his duvet, although I'm sure it won't last!

Likes/Dislikes:  Food wise he seems to have found a love for baked beans, with cous cous still a firm favourite.  Night time crackers have been replaced by Cheerios for now but to be honest he loves any cereal.  His favourite TV show at the moment (much to my dismay) is Peppa Pig and he loves watching the songs from Moana on YouTube, along with a video called Here Comes a Digger.  Book wise he had a book from Emma for his birthday called Lost and Found which is about a penguin and he really likes it but his firm favourite is Mad About Dinosaurs - it has little rhymes about all different types of dinosaurs and he will ask for it to be read five or six times in a row!  His favourite toys are a plastic dinosaur that he had in a set for his birthday and has named "Big Roar" and his baby, which we bought him for his birthday after much controversy.  He loves pink things, again much controversy!  He still loves balls - throwing and kicking anything to be honest.  He likes feeding animals such as the ducks at the park and tries to get the cats to come to him, he is finally starting to be gentle with them too.  He really doesn't like shadows at the moment and is pretty scared of fireworks.  He doesn't like it if he's having a strop and you try to get toys out to distract him and he doesn't like spills e.g. if he spills something on him or if someone else has a wet patch on their clothes.  He isn't a giant fan of other children and actually spent most of a friend's little boy's birthday fending toddlers off with a toy chair!

Nursery:  He's moved up to the 2-3 year room at nursery this week and is absolutely loving it - he runs in without hesitation in a morning and can't wait to find his "baby".  I think he must feel a little insecure as he can't cope if he hasn't got a baby in each hand - at home he likes to take his baby everywhere but is happy to put her down while he's playing etc.  I'll be interested to see how he gets on with the more social side of things and whether they are noticing any autistic traits.

Me:  I did my fourth assignment amendments and it passed but I have barely started on the fifth - it's been such a busy month with work, Ant's business, Oscar's birthday, family stuff etc.  I did apply for a job yesterday at a school but I don't have the qualifications or experience so I'm not expecting to even hear back from them.  I'm really stressed about money, especially with Christmas coming up, but things could always be worse.

We had our IVF appointment on Tuesday and are set to be seen in the fertility clinic in the new year.  I've started back on the pill and I'm due to go for a scan in Sheffield on 3 December as the final part of the fertility checks.  Oddly he said from my blood tests that my long cycle might mean that I don't ovulate so would have struggled naturally but actually I think I remember last time him having to do extra blood tests that showed I just ovulate late - I'm pretty sure I ovulate!