Baby Update - 21 weeks old

Age:  21 weeks

Weight: He was weighed 2 days ago and was 13 lb 8 oz (6.16 kg) so he's put 1 lb 1 oz on in a month and has stayed around the same centile.  He'll be weighed again in 4 weeks and hopefully he'll have put more weight on despite me being back on dairy.

Feeding: He's getting quite distracted which is making things a little hard but he's generally feeding much quicker which is a bonus.  He had a couple of days where the vomiting was less but then for the last 2 days he's been projectile vomiting quite a lot.  He's constantly trying to get at our food now so I'm looking forward to being able to wean him. 

Sleep: What a nightmare!  He's almost impossible to get to sleep in the day unless he falls  asleep feeding, he just fights it so much and is worried about missing anything which leads to him often having a long nap too close to bedtime.  We have a busy weekend coming up so there's no point tackling it before the weekend is over.  At night he mostly goes down okay but has a lot of trouble with the reflux and wind so by 4 am he's uncomfortable and feeding every hour to settle.

Routine: What routine? I'm basically just doing whatever I can to get him a decent amount of sleep... I'm finding it hard this week but mostly because I think others will judge me for not having got into a decent routine sooner.  If I stop caring what others think I'll do a lot better!

Likes/dislikes:  He loves music and singing so we do a lot of nursery rhymes, especially ones with actions.  He loves sitting up to play now and likes to chew on anything  he can get his hands (or mouth) on!  He's still not a fan of tummy time and, as he can roll front to back, just immediately turns himself over.

Firsts:  I took him to his first session at our local Sure Start Centre and he loved it - it was called Once Upon a Rhyme and was all about reading and singing, two of his favourite pastimes.   

Milestones: Nothing major this week, although his babbling is starting to sound a little more like words -no obvious vowel sounds yet but lots of 2 syllable consonant sounds.

Things we did: We had a lovely family day on Sunday - we took OJ swimming then went for a nice long walk in the sunshine and had a drink in our local pub's beer garden.  As I mentioned above I took OJ to his first baby session too.  I'm really looking forward to this next few days as it's Easter weekend and we have 3 whole days of daddy and lots of plans!

Me: I'm feeling like a bad parent for not having a routine and OJ not sleeping well because of it.  I know there are worse things in the world and he's generally a healthy, happy little chap who is developing well but I guess I worry too much what others think.  I always assumed that I'd be an amazing parent because I know a lot about kids and I was desperate to be a parent but the truth is I'm just muddling through... I'm VERY sleep deprived this week so that's probably why I'm being so negative!

20 weeks 1 day - pretending to be Lawrence of Arabia with Nanna and Grandpa.

20 weeks 1 day - working on his sitting... and trying to grab the camera.

20 weeks 2 days - snuggling up to mummy and sucking his thumb in the morning when daddy had gone to work.

20 weeks 3 days - on a nice long walk, holding on for dear life because he doesn't trust mummy's driving!

20 weeks 4 days - little bugger scratched his face just before we went to get him weighed, again!

20 weeks 4 days - I'm beginning to think this may be a girl's coat, but doesn't he look cute?

20 weeks 4 days - where's my baby gone?

20 weeks 4 days - he loves his feet so much he even holds them while he sleeps.

20 weeks 5 days - playing with his rings... I remember having a set just like this so I was thrilled when my grandma bought some for OJ for Christmas.

20 weeks 5 days - finally got the hang of chewing on his teether bib but all eyes on daddy!

20 weeks 6 days - tired out after Once Upon a Rhyme, napping too close to bedtime but too cute to wake up.

21 weeks - he loves a good selfie.

21 weeks - boy after my own heart, stole my chocolates and started chewing on the bag (no it's not open before any of the parent police start moaning).

Baby Update - 20 weeks old

Age:  20 weeks

Weight: He's due to be weighed again next Tuesday at 20+5 weeks.

Feeding: I'm back on dairy and things haven't changed much - he's been choking on his feeds a lot this week but I think that's because he's congested.  There's been a bit more vomiting over the last couple of days and his dry skin seems to be less responsive to the Oilatum, but that may just be me looking for things and could just be coincidence.

Sleep: Between his blocked nose and our disastrous weekend away sleep has been far from great this week.  He's been a little bit better the last couple of nights and I'm hitting the bedtime routine hard but we'll have to wait and see... he immediately gets really fidgety and reflux-y when laid down on his back, rolls onto his side, starts to fall asleep then rolls back on to his back and the process starts again.  The only time he goes down straight away is if he's virtually asleep in my arms when I put him down, otherwise it can take over half an hour and he seems very uncomfortable.

Routine: We're trying our best but honestly I find it much easier to just follow his lead - I don't want him so stuck in a routine that we can't stay out in an evening with him and his sleep during the day is very disjointed because of us being out and about - sometimes he sleeps on the go, other times he sleeps at home.  He doesn't have regular nap times so I'm following his lead at night.  I'm starting his bath/bed routine at no later than 19:45 but if he's showing signs of being tired, like he was last night, I start it earlier, but no earlier than 19:00.

Likes/dislikes:  He's absolutely obsessed with his feet and has learnt to take his socks off.  He doesn't like not having access to his toes so he gets frustrated when he's in a sleepsuit!  He's starting to really enjoy story time - today we read The Gruffalo and he was focused on the book and pictures the whole time without getting bored, whereas previously we've only been reading very short, mostly picture oriented books.  He's still often inconsolable in the car (as demonstrated during our weekend from hell) but we are also getting some giggles in there so hopefully he's starting to get used to it.

Firsts:  He had his first weekend away with mummy and daddy, albeit a nightmare of a weekend.  He's been managing to sit up by himself for about 5 seconds before he wobbles over to the side too.  He may have had his first taste of cake after grabbing a giant handful of ALS' muffin and smashing it into his face too - oops, bad parents!  

Milestones: Starting to really get the hang of sitting up.  He's also leaning over and reaching out for toys that aren't quite within his grasp and grabbing at absolutely everything!  He's grown out of his first wetsuit too, so we've bought him one in the next size!

Things we did: We had our weekend away which consisted of a lot of driving, a lot of snow, a big dinner, an even bigger breakfast and not much sleep!  We had his swimming lesson and found out that his little friend, who is due to move up to the next class in a couple of weeks, is going to stay and move up at the same time as him because otherwise that would leave him in the class alone (it's so nice having a little class of 2).  Yesterday ALS' best man came for a visit whilst on leave from the Navy so we spent some time with him and then I took OJ to the park with my aunty and uncle, who are childminders, and the children they look after.  He loved watching them all playing with bubbles and having storytime!

Me: I'm now a week into having a cold, which is annoying, but it's relatively mild.  I'm congested and snuffly but I don't feel really poorly and by the evening it's usually okay, then comes back in the morning when I've been lay down all night.  I'm battling in my head over whether to go back to work or not but I've decided not to even try to make the decision - we are in a position where we can afford for me to stay at home and it may be more economical too.  However, I have to go back for at least 3 months to keep my maternity pay so I'm going to do a couple of months, see how I feel and then make the decision.  I love my job and a second income would be really helpful, plus adult time would be good for me BUT I desperately don't want to leave OJ and I have a feeling it would make me very miserable.  As I'm going to have to do it for 3 months anyway a lot will depend on how we both cope with the separation!

19 weeks 1 day - fast asleep in his new pushchair attachment after a walk.

19 weeks 2 days - feeling under the weather with the sniffles. 

19 weeks 2 days - "This bed is great but where are you and daddy going to sleep?"

19 weeks 2 days - using the travel cot for the first time.

19 weeks 2 days - at around midnight after only an hour in the travel cot (yes, he ended up in our bed for the rest of the night once he'd settled down), I'd be lost at home without the co-sleeper because having to get up and down to the travel cot was a pain in the ass!

19 weeks 3 days - whenever he's asleep on me I end up kissing him at least once every minute, he's just so scrumptious.

19 weeks 4 days - baby burrito on the way to swimming, he looks so tiny like this!

19 weeks 4 days - rocking his new wetsuit and his little double chin!

19 weeks 4 days - swimming must have been hard work this week!

19 weeks 6 days - out the door for 2 seconds and he was fast asleep!

20 weeks - little Stormtrooper onesie and big smiles whilst mummy has her breakfast.

20 weeks - I love this outfit, it definitely shows that he's still dinky though!

20 weeks - captivated by The Little Mermaid!

Jet lag?

It's amazing how traveling can mess up a baby's schedule... despite having only had the same amount of sleep during the day as usual it's 2am and OJ is wide awake. He absolutely NEVER has time awake during the night - he may be unsettled and need a cuddle, he may wake for feeds, he may refuse to sleep unless it's on me, but he never wakes up and wants to play. Yet somehow here we are.

Every morning, religiously at around 6am, OJ will wake up having trouble with passing wind and I will put him in bed with me, massage his stomach, cycle his legs and feed him until he's comfortable again. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep but more often than not he will poop, be changed and want to get up. Tonight that happened at around 1:30 am which is very unusual and has led to him lying on the hotel bed between us and playing with his socks.

I wouldn't mind but he also didn't go down until 10:30pm, I didn't get to sleep until gone 11:30pm and our alarm is set for 5:45am to get ALS to a competition, so it's not looking good for me. I'm feeding him in an attempt to make him drowsy again and fingers crossed I get a little more sleep before the alarm goes off.

Obviously this is all understandable, we know that jet lag messes with your body clock... now if only someone would tell OJ  that we only drove 2 hours away and are still in the same time zone that would be great!

In other news, this trip has been a disaster for various reasons - but I'll post about that when (if) we get home this evening!

Baby Update - 19 week update

Age:  19 weeks

Weight: He isn't due to be weighed again for another couple of weeks.

Feeding: He still won't take a bottle but he's starting to feed quicker on the breast because he wants to get back to playing.  He still eats very regularly but I'm not going to start trying to space the feeds out until he's ready because we've had trouble in the past with weight gain.  The GP and I have decided that I should go back onto a fully inclusive diet and hopefully, if he does have any allergies, they'll become more obvious when he's weaning as the food will be getting to him directly.

Sleep: He's had a few longer naps in the day but only when lying on my chest.  At night time he is just about going 3 hours between feeds but has been unsettled in between.  We've bought a white noise toy that works on a sensor and hopefully that will help - I've been using white noise on my phone but I can't leave that on overnight.  It was the first night with the toy last night but he was really congested so he was quite restless.  He goes down quite well now but wakes up a lot.

Routine: I've been waiting for him to get relatively tired in an evening and so far we tend to have a bath between 19:30 and 20:00 then story (if he's not starving), feed and put him down.  This seems to be working even if he has a late nap and means that most nights he gets to see daddy before bed, although he gets very excited when daddy comes home which can make it harder.  Most nights he goes down well but some, like tonight, he ends up being really uncomfortable/sick with his reflux and it's much harder to get him settled.

Likes/dislikes:  He's really starting to enjoy playing with toys and will actively try to get to them if they're not within his reach.  He loves having access to his feet so he can hold them/try to put them in his mouth.  He's started to get very grumpy this week if he's not being entertained and he just makes a loud whining noise to let you know he's bored.

Firsts:  He had his first trip to the playground at the weekend and went on the swings, which he loved!  He's also had his first tiny taste of food - a little bit of gravy on my finger - which seemed to go down well although I'm not sure he even noticed as he loves sucking on a finger anyway.  He had his first really inconsolable meltdown (which you can read about here).  

Milestones: We've put together the pushchair part of his travel system today and he'll be moving into that instead of the carrycot - partly because he likes to be more upright to look around/help his reflux and partly because my car is stuck in the garage and we left the carrycot in the boot!

Things we did: We had a trip to the park, we had a few walks, we went to visit friends at the weekend, we had his usual swimming class and we've been exploring lots more toys and books at home.

Me: I seem to be getting a cold today and I'm absolutely exhausted.  I'm also getting really fed up with cars - ALS has scrapped his because it wasn't economical to repair it and then mine has failed it's MOT and is going to cost around £1100 to repair (including the service/MOT that I'd already paid for), we could have had a nice holiday for that!!  I'm getting sick of how much my hair is falling out, I've posted a picture below and it seems to be getting really thin when I run my hands through it.  Today is a bad day, as you can tell, but I have faith that tomorrow will be better!

18 weeks 2 days - having a little snooze on mummy's boob.

18 weeks 3 days - just got home after a sleep in the car post-meltdown.

18 weeks 5 days - first time riding in the trolley!

18 weeks 5 days - guess who can have dairy now? (The Celebrations are for me, not OJ)

18 weeks 6 days - 1 year apart (6 week scan)

19 weeks - early morning with a congested baby and a sleep deprived mummy called for Hercules (he seemed enthralled).

19 weeks - Hercules didn't last long for OJ, he was ready for a nap by 08:00!

19 weeks - he seems impressed with his new pushchair setup!

19 weeks - finally managed to get his feet in his mouth.

"Get pregnant," they said.  "You'll have lovely thick hair," they said.  Nobody mentioned how horrendous the fallout would be!  This is from one wash and this is just what I managed to salvage whilst I washed it so it didn't clog the drain - I get this much out every day during washing or brushing AND my drain still ends up clogged, along with my hoover!

Happy Mother's Day!

Today I have celebrated my very first Mother's Day as an actual mother and I couldn't be more grateful.

However, it has been one hell of a challenging day. Due to a mix up with OJ's prescription and the GP surgery being shut over the weekend we are having to make his medication last longer than it should so he's just having a dose before bed instead of 3 doses a day. I'm not sure if it's coincidence or not but he's been really unsettled all day today.

He's been drooling constantly, had a lot of hiccups and wind, we've had no less than 8 poo explosions, he's been a lot more sick than normal and he's wanted to feed almost constantly. It sounds a bit like teething but I can't see any sign of sore gums. We were at a friend's house this evening and he was starting to get really fussy so we decided to head home (a 30 minute drive).

Almost as soon as we got him in the car he started screaming in what sounded like pain so we stopped in a nearby pub car park and I tried to feed him - for the first time ever he refused the boob. I've never seen him so distressed that a boob can't fix it! He isn't a fan of the car at the best of times so we knew we needed to calm him down. We bundled him up in blankets and walked around the car park with him holding him on his front, which normally helps with his reflux and wind, but he still seemed to be uncomfortable, whimpering rather than screaming.

We decided to pop him in his pram to see if a walk might send him to sleep and headed towards the nearest Tesco to see if we could get some Calpol - my logic was that, even if it was reflux making him uncomfortable, the Calpol might help with the pain. He screamed blue murder as soon as we put him down in the pram so ALS carried (holding him on his front) him the whole way and by the time we got there he had calmed down enough for ALS to turn him over onto his back and give him the Calpol. We finally got a little smile out of him so ALS kept him lay that way and carried him back to the car. Just before we got back he fell asleep and with the help of some white noise, very careful movement and ALS' finger being used as a pacified we managed to get him back in the car and he slept the rest of the way home. He woke up in a slightly better mood and after a nice relaxing bath and a hearty feed he's snuggled up asleep on my chest.

Parenting is tough, especially when you don't really know what's wrong or what to do but we stayed calm, worked as a team and figured out a plan. I'm incredibly proud of how we handled things tonight and, although it hasn't been the smoothest sailing, I've loved my first Mother's Day as a mummy.

Here's to all the wonderful mums out there and a special thought to those who are still waiting for their miracle!

International Women's Day

This might make me a little unpopular but I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway!

As you probably know, yesterday was International Women's Day and I saw a LOT of posts about it on social media. I'm all for celebrating incredible women and don't take issue with the day itself, as such. However, I do take issue with the content of a lot of the posts I saw.

My first issue is that a lot of the posts "celebrating" women were patronising and almost negative in nature. It's hardly celebrating an achievement if you end your compliment with "for a woman". For example, a woman who created a lifesaving drug didn't do something incredible "for a woman", she merely did something incredible. Don't diminish women's achievements by making it sound like it's something that's only ahh achievement because they're female and any man could have done it - firstly, that's rarely true and secondly, it's turning a positive into a negative. We have a saying in powerlifting that is "Not strong for a woman, just strong" and I adore that sentiment.

My other issue with the content of posts is that they often mention all the incredible things that women now have the opportunity to do but don't take into consideration that what we've fought for is choice. It's incredible that nowadays women can be brain surgeons, lawyers, CEOs, firefighters and whatever else BUT I dislike the implications that if you don't do something amazing you're setting women's rights back. I love the fact that I have a choice, that I have a right to vote and that I am entitled to an education. However, all I've ever wanted in life is to be a mum and, as I'm relatively academically inclined, I get told that I'm wasting my life and by being perfectly happy to be a housewife I am undoing the hard work of those who fought for our rights. The world may be my oyster but, quite frankly, I don't like oysters.

So, when International Women's Day rolls around again, use it to celebrate the incredible achievements of women without patronising them, use it to campaign for rights of women in countries where they are still second class citizens and use it to tell the women in your life how much you appreciate them, whether they spent their day finding a cure for cancer or simply changing nappies and raising the kids.

Baby Update - 18 weeks old

Age:  18 weeks

Weight: He isn't due to be weighed again for another 3 weeks but he seems to be putting weight on quite quickly lately and is starting to look rather chunky, which is great news after his slow start.

Feeding: Feeding is a bit better again now he's back on the ranitidine.  We've not tried him with a bottle again recently but yesterday we tried him with a free-flow sippy cup for the first time and he took it off me and started feeding himself!  Due to the free-flow nature of the cup he did spill quite a lot and choked a little so it wouldn't be suitable for a full feed.  However, today I've tried him with a MAM trainer cup which is halfway between a bottle and a sippy cup and he happily took that (at a time when he wasn't particularly hungry).  We are going to try a bottle again at the weekend in the hope that his refusal was just a phase but it maybe that these things only work when he's not actually hungry.  As he's not napping well in the day he's been quite grumpy and therefore wanting the boob a LOT.

Sleep: He's still not sleeping for more than about 20 minutes at a time during the day except the occasional longer nap if he's been out in the pram or the odd long one if I let him sleep on me (usualy late in the evening after he's been fighting it all day).  At night he's feeding 3 or 4 times and we had our first 05:30 get up the other morning.  I shouldn't complain as it's the first time in 4 months that I've had to get out of bed for 07:00 so we've done very well.  He will sometimes settle in his cot just with my hand on him instead of actually sleeping on me so that's at least a start - he loves holding onto something so I let him fall asleep holding a teddy sometimes but in the middle of the night I can't do that unless I'm willing to stay awake until he falls asleep so I can take it off him again.

Routine: The regular bedtime routine really didn't help - we tried it for a week getting him bathed, fed and in bed for around 20:30 and then lifting him around 23:00 for a dreamfeed before we went to sleep.  He still woke up to feed at around 01:00 or 02:00 and then again at 04:00 and 06:00, then wouldn't settle again for a while.  The last couple of nights we've put him down at 21:30, being a little more led by him, and he's slept through to around 01:00 then 04:00 then 07:00 (give or take) so apparently lifting him for a dreamfeed didn't help at all.  Quite honestly I'm finding it easier to be just led by him as putting him down at 20:30 left me trapped in the bedroom all evening and I found I was getting nothing done and he wasn't sleeping any better.

Likes/dislikes:  He seems to really enjoy sitting in his highchair, which we've started doing whilst we eat, as he can see us and we pop a couple of toys on the tray to entertain him.  He loves holding on to his feet and putting absolutely anything he can find into his mouth.  He's still not a giant fan of the car but is getting slightly more distractable - we've bought a new 0-12 years carseat where he'll be a bit more upright so once we've figured that out hopefully he'll be better off.

Firsts:  He's had his first drink from a sippy cup which he took to like an absolute champ.  He's also starting sitting in his highchair for the first time this week - I'm trying to get him used to it ready for when we start weaning.  He also managed to close his eyes when we gave him the signal for a submersion at swimming which is a massive accomplishment.  It was pyjama week at swimming and we had lots of giggles in the pool which was lovely as he usually just chills out and takes it all in.  He had an allergic reaction to something twice yesterday, although we aren't sure what - we thought it may have been doughnuts as he came up in a rash on his face when ALS had a doughnut and then kissed him and the same happened later on when I had one - but we've both had doughnuts and been around him today with no reaction so we aren't sure.

Milestones: He's now 4 months old and handling a sippy cup quite well.

Things we did: We spent a lot of time working around the house this week managed to get it in some semblence of order for the first time since OJ was born.  We had some friends over for a movie on Sunday (which was torture as everyone had pizza and then ordered from my favourite dessert place - damn dairy-free).  Today we went out for dinner with my mum and grandparents too.

Me: I'm feeling quite up and down at the moment - I'm finding it hard to find things to do to keep OJ entertained all day so I feel guilty and I'm getting a little bit bored with not being able to go far (as I don't have transport).  However, I'm loving being a mummy and every time I look at him my heart just explodes with love!  He's definitely getting more challenging as he won't sleep much during the day and gets bored easily, which means I have less time to do housework and exercise etc. but I wouldn't change it for the world.

17 weeks 1 day - Parenting hack: give your baby a muslin to chew on so they wipe up their own drool/vomit as it comes out!

17 weeks 1 day (4 months) - monthly growth picture and he's grown so much since the last one, he's really filling out.

17 weeks 2 days - snuggles after a major morning meltdown (he's so sensitive in a morning) because mummy laughed a little bit loudly and made him jump.

17 weeks 3 days - big smiles for a big boy, the first time in his new highchair.

17 weeks 3 days - every time we put him in the highchair he spends a good 15 minutes contentedly gnawing on the straps!

17 weeks 4 days - baby and kitty sleeping on mummy's lap.

17 weeks 5 days - he started whining so I rolled over but he stuck his thumb in and went back to sleep, such a gorgeous little face!

17 weeks 5 days - he fell asleep playing with his monkey toy!

17 weeks 6 days - 7:00 am nap after a 5:30 am start feat. sleepy smiles.

18 weeks - snuggling his bunny ready to get in the car!